Aggravated Bitterness: The web is visually driven, links to things like 'pics' are always the most clicked on any page. You don't care what I think, what I write, what I draw, what I've done, whether my bed is full or empty, or how I exist from day to day. You care about what I look like, what tattoos I have, maybe even a little bit about my rats, and what there is about me that you can twist around to make it about you so that you can email me and tell me that something I say makes you think about you...because that's exactly what I'm after...everyone seeing thier own problems within me. I got a new tattoo...well, your ex-best friends grandmothers pet rock once got petted by someone who was thinking about a tattoo, and you're thinking of asking them out...so of course, I care, and you should email me and tell me all about it. Perhaps even message me and tell me all about it. I'd just love that. That, and your liver. It's even better when you email me and tell me how hot my friends are. That makes my day.

"...but...i live here..."

-some lyrics are eternal-

-news- I have to wonder...if I went through all that to change myself, to become someone else...doesn't that mean I didn't like who I used to be? Or I thought I needed to be something else? Whatever I thought then was wrong. I don't know if I'm right now, or if I can ever trust myself to be right again...all I know is that this way is a better way, a safer way. I am not controlled. I'm not sure I have control, but I am not under the thumb of any drug. Not even such a drug as love. To me love is material right now, my possessions contain the only true beauty in this world. A flaw in my new thousand dollar monitor means sending it for repairs. Try that with a loved one who didn't turn out to be quite what you expected. No AppleCare for life, baby. You're on your fucking own. -older-

"It was like that all the time, in those years: an endless trip, a gaudy voyage.
But powers decay. Time leaches the colors from the best of visions. The world becomes grayer.
Entropy beats us down. Everything fades. Everything goes. Everything dies."
            -Dying Inside, Robert Silverberg

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"I guess a lot of people would find me more right wing than left wing, although I find myself in both wings. That's what lets me fly." -mm

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"The web is a dominatrix. Everywhere I turn, I see little buttons ordering me to Submit."

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Tell me love isn't true...

extended

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to never see it snow, or ever feel the rain again
to never be in love, or having to explain again
to not have to cover my face so you wont see my pain
that would be perfection
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Everywhere EmeraldEntropy.com

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"it is better to be hated for what you are
than to be loved for something you are not."
-Andre Gide (spt2000)

"Its is impossible to found a civilization on fear and hatred and cruelty. It would never endure."

"Why not?"

"It would have no vitality. It would disintegrate. It would commit suicide."

"Nonsense. You are under the impression that hatred is more exhausting than love. Why should it be?"

-1984, George Orwell

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