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profile:
So, what's there to tell?
I'm a child of the sixties and a teenager of the eighties.
I first came into the 'alternative' scene about a decade and a half ago, when my sister introduced me to the Cure. One thing led to another and here i am a totally different person to who i was at high school. Thank god!
(In year 11, my English teacher asked us to give a talk on some social issue. I gave one on how young people shouldn't waste their time worrying about social issues but should concentrate on having fun, which is what life is all about. Thankfully i've grown up since, and i think the influence of the punk scene had a lot to do with that. But i digress..)
Today i'm involved with Amnesty International, which is my main way of making a difference to the fucked up world we're living in.
My two main goals in life are:
1. To leave this world in a better state than when i found it (or at least better for my having been born).
2. To enjoy life as much as possible and pursue the things i love to the fullest.
These two goals are often at odds, but i try to keep a balance between the two.
Balance is actually an important principle to me. The old Chinese yin/yang is probably the symbol which has the most meaning for me (the only one that is symbolically significant enough to have tattooed onto my flesh), though not necessarily for the traditional masculine/feminine dichotomy that it originally meant. To me it symbolises the general need for balance, eg between chaos and order - too much order leads to fascism and repression, too much anarchy just leaves the powerful free to screw over the powerless. And so on.
I think the need for a balance is true of most things in life.
What else do you want to know about me?
The love of my life is Elaine, my long time girlfriend, companion and source of strength.
We met in 1990 at the Sarah Sands hotel in Brunswick, at a Hard-ons gig. I'd been at a party at St Kilda beach drinking for most of the afternoon. I couldn't think of how to approach her, so i just walked over and said: "i'd really like to talk to you, but the music's too loud and i'm too drunk, so could i have your phone number?"
Five years later we were wed just after Beltane at the Montsalvat artists' retreat in Eltham.
Don't you just love those fairytale endings?
What else can i tell you?
I am a practising vegetarian, simply for the fact that i don't like the idea of little beasties being slaughtered for my own pleasure. There are plenty of other reasons for vegetarianism - humanitarian, environmental, health etc - that i won't go into because the arguments are covered extensively and better in many other places.
I'm trying to wean myself off leather products also, but for the moment i'm compromising by only buying second hand leather. It's still not right, but i look at it as being less harmful to buy a second hand jacket or pair of boots maybe once or twice a year than to buy and consume freshly slaughtered flesh on a daily basis. A cop out i know, but i never claim to be perfect.
For enjoyment, i like to see live bands as much as i can (punk, industrial and gothic being my preference), i have a 2nd Dan black belt in taekwondo, and am attempting to learn to play guitar (really, really badly - but that's nothing, you should hear me try to sing!)
i spend quite a bit of time reading and posting to usenet, my home newsgroup being aus.culture.gothic, and am probably becoming something of a net.addict in that respect.
There are many other things that interest me - poetry, visual arts, ancient egypt, the occult, fetish/bondage, food, alcohol, all the usual stuff..
Perhaps a list of some of my favourite things will shed more light on who i am. Self indulgent, i know, but it's a good excuse to dwell on the things i enjoy.
(Actually, i keep meaning to delete this whole section, as it's a bit juvenile and cliched, but every time i'm planning to remove it, somebody e-mails me and mentions something here that struck a chord. So, in the interests of a blatant ploy to identify common ground, i've decided to leave it in).
So, if you've nothing better to do, read on.
(These are by no means exhaustive, and change from day to day, but i'll list a few of my current favourites of each to give you an idea).
Magazines and other publications
Favourite local bands (current)
Favourite local bands (all time)
home .. about me .. photo gallery .. drawings .. poetry(1990-1) .. poetry(1992-5) .. poetry(1996-2000) .. rants .. fact file .. links .. rings .. mail me
Depeche Mode - Stripped
"Let me hear you make decisions, without your television.."
A simple but seductively black song, this one also has my favourite video clip: Smashing cars with sledgehammers. Blowtorching tv sets. Black leather. What more could you ask?The Unguarded Moment - The Church
"It's so hard finding inspiration. I knew you'd find me crying. Tell those girls with rifles for minds, that their jokes don't make me laugh, they only make me feel like dying.."
I don't listen to this very often these days, but the words still have a lot of relevance for me and where i'm coming from.Tomorrow Wendy - Andy Prieboy / Johnette Napolitano
"I told the priest, don't count on any second coming. God got his ass kicked the last time he came down here slumming. But he had the balls to come, the gall to die and then forgive us.."
Yes i know this is Andy's song, but it needs Johnette's voice to bring out its power and passion.Another Girl, Another Planet - The Only Ones
"I always flirt with death. I look ill but i don't care about it.."
I have fond memories of pogoing around dance floors to this in my younger years. (I don't believe how long it took me to get the drug references - i thought it was about a girl.)Disintegration - The Cure
"Dropping from sky through the glass of the roof, through the roof of your mouth, through the mouth of your eye, through the eye of a needle, it's easier for me to get closer to heaven than ever feel whole again.."
May or may not be my favourite Cure song (vying with Burn, Push, Primary, Fascination Street..), but i love the lyrical content of this song, especially the last verse, which i think is the best piece of poetry i've ever heard.Cry For Love - Iggy Pop
"Status seekers - i never cared, once i found out they never dared to seize the world and shake it upside down.."
I was only going to list five, but i want to mention this one so i'll add more. The first Iggy i ever heard, and one i still have a soft spot for.Forever Now - The Psychedelic Furs
"A banker in a tie and suit is counting in his head, he's standing in your overcoat, he's lying on your bed.."
Alternapop 80's style. Serve with Love My Way and Heartbreak Beat for a total nostalgia trip. Let it stay forever 1984..This is England - The Clash
"I see no glory, when will we be free? This is England, we can chain you to the rail. This is England, we can kill you in a jail.."
Not their heaviest moment, but raw and honest, which is what they did best.The Other Side - Silke Bischoff
"A little piece of heaven, in a rotten world.."
i only discovered this song recently, and loved it from the first moment i heard it. Apparently it's been played in clubs for years, but i don't get out much. Pure goth/romantic melodrama..
Some Favourite Albums (Classics)
Depeche Mode - Black Celebration
Gothic, political and industrial, without claiming to be any of these. What i like about these guys (apart from style and talent) is the way they can write about anything they like - love, self-doubt, kinky sex, politics, social issues, whatever. I guess its because they never labelled themselves anything but a pop band.
Bauhaus - Press the Eject and Give Me the Tape.
The first Bauhaus i ever got my hands on, and still my favourite. Heavy enough to satisfy my punk leanings and arty enough for the goth.
Vicious Circle - The Price of Progress
Stalwarts of the 80's Australian punk scene. One of the first real punk records i ever bought. Still epitomises 80's punk to me.
Christian Death - Only Theatre of Pain
Quintessentially gothic, complete with tongue in cheek satanism (Reficul!) and over the top pretentiousness. When i finally got my own cd copy just recently, i was amazed to read it was from back in 1982.
Alien Sex Fiend - Acid Bath
Proving that goth can be fun and brilliant musicianship isn't necessary to create great records. Here Cum Germs is another great album, but Acid Bath i find more consistent.
The Jesus and Mary Chain - Psychocandy
When i first bought this, it was the most extreme thing i'd ever heard. Now it just seems quaint and simplistic, but that's half its charm. Brings back a lot of memories.
Nina Hagen - NunSexMonkRock
i knew nothing of Nina Hagen when i saw this in a second hand record shop in about 1987. But i liked the cover and, after failing to haggle a better price, bought it anyway. It was one of the strangest things i had ever heard, and it's still more bizarre than 99.9% of what passes for 'alternative' music these days.
Rancid - .. And Out Come the Wolves
Good old fashioned punk rock. Enough grit and enough hooks to keep it from getting stale. Forgive the heresy, but i like these guys better than the Clash. So sue me.
The Crow
Okay, i know that's predictable, but beyond the action movie cliches, hip alternateen hooks and cynical product placement soundtrack, the real power of the film is in the pain and anguish of Eric's loss and the understandable desire for revenge. Despite the implausable situation, Eric's reaction to the situation he finds himself in is utterly believable and this is what can bring a tear to the eye and raise the film above other similar drek.
The Year My Voice Broke
Classic Australian film, drawing on the rejection, awkwardness and desperate longing of youth. Every quiet, awkward Morriseyesque teenager can relate to Noah Taylor's character. Designed to get you where it hurts.
Dogs in Space
Did someone say Ballarat? Probably more for the nostalgia value of the times when i first saw it, than for the quality of the film itself. An amusing portrait of the Melbourne punk scene, even if lacking in storyline. More importantly, it has the feel and look of the scene i first encountered in the late 80's, that pretty much shaped a lot of 'where i'm coming from'.
Eat the Rich
Excellent farce from the makers of the Young Ones and the Comic Strip Presents. Includes the famous social security office massacre scene much beloved by anyone who's ever had to frequent such an establishment. "Yes David, we were heroes, just for one day."
Bad Taste
Classic New Zealand schlock horror film, with brain-eating aliens and trigger happy government investigators. This is definitely not Men In Black. A must see if you like your humour on the stupid side.
Preaching to the Perverted
Fetish S&M comedy, with an echo of the absurdity and political satire of Eat the Rich, plenty of leather and pvc, and much whipping of british backsides. Great (pierced) tongue in cheek humour, with a social comment or two to make, and nice eye candy to boot.
Razor Blade Smile
A film about a pvc fetishist goth vampire contract killer? They've got to be joking. Well, depending on whether you think they are, this is either brilliant or awful. We thought it was so corny it had to be tongue in cheek (the best humour is delivered dead straight, no?) and as such it is an absolute pisser. Those that thought it was for real were suitably unimpressed.
Blade Runner
Well, who doesn't like this one?
The Lord of The Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien
Still my favourite. Epic tale told in a simple way. I particularly love the way he never fully describes what an orc looks like, or the balrog or Sauron etc.. It leaves you to create your own pictures inside your head. Avoid illustrated versions.
The Books of Blood - Clive Barker
I had actually never heard of Clive Barker when i first saw this in a library. The opening line: 'The dead have highways' got me in, and it turned out to be the best horror i'd ever read. The surreal, nightmarish quality is better than any portion of blood and gore.
The Eye of the Lens - Langdon Jones
Trippy, psychedelic collection of short fiction and other stuff. I once photocopied this entire book when i couldn't order it, only to find it in a second hand bookstore a year later. (Sorry Langdon, it was a bit too long to copy out by hand.)
Lady of Light, Lady of Darkness - Diana Paxson
Post apocalyptic tale of kings, maidens, knights and wicca, which always appeals to me, for no particular reason i can put a finger on.
Magazines and other Publications
New Internationalist
Socio-political magazine which, while unashamedly left leaning, presents its issues in an intelligent and reasoned way, and will print opinions different to its own.
Voiceworks
Australian quarterly youth culture magazine. Short stories, poems, non-fiction, graphics, comics etc from under 24's. There's some really amazing stuff in here.
The Big Issue (Australia)
Street mag sold by unemployed and homeless people, though not written by the same. Was recently criticised for attacking the 'middle class values' of most of its readership. But isn't that what it's supposed to do - question?
Drivel
Comic, cartoon and general zine from Melbourne. Best known for its comic saga 'Pop Culture and Two Minute Noodles' about the joys of inner urban shared householding.
The Burning Times
Melbourne queerpunk zine, as irreverent as it is outspoken. Most scathing in its attacks on the money motivated world of mainstream gay culture. i haven't seen it in print for some time, but hopefully it's not dead.
Favourite Artists (visual)
I generally like particular pieces i come across, rather than a particular artist. But here are some artists whose work in general impresses me. Artists of interest include (predictably):
Vali Myers
H.R. Giger
Giga - (see links page)
Rosaleen Norton
Salvador Dali
M.C. Escher
plus countless others whose names i forget or may never know.
As with artists, i generally like individual poems i come across, too numerous to pick favourites from. But some poets i like the work of include:
Leonard Cohen
Sylvia Plath
Gunter Grass
John Foulcher
alicia sometimes
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Big Day Out 1992
Darkening summer skies at dusk, black storm clouds, thunder and lightning, wind, light rain rising as steam from the throng of bodies. A perfect setting for the cavernous sounds of "Henry's Dream" era Seeds.
No, Box the Jesuit - The Club, Oct '89
The last gig (to my knowledge) of the mighty No. After so many years, i can't properly remember what this band sounded like, except that their records didn't do them justice. Box the Jesuit are also a fond memory of those days.
Pop Will Eat Itself, The Prostitutes - Old Greek Theatre, Dec '89.
I didn't know much of Pop Will Eat Itself before this, but they impressed the fuck out of me. Also the first time i got to see the excellent Prostitutes.
The Cramps, Crashland, Practical Folk Music - The Palace, Oct '90
Finally, i got to see the Cramps, a long time ambition of mine, and they sounded even better than i'd expected. Plus i got to see two of my favourite local acts of the time in the bargain.
Einsturzende Neubauten - Old Greek Theatre, July 1991.
I never thought i'd get to see the Noisebastards live, but the rumours were true and they came. The sound was massive and amazing, and it was the first time i saw earplugs on sale at a band venue. It was also the last time i got to see a band at the Old Greek, the best live venue ever, before they turned it into a shopping mall (sniff).
The Damned, X, Feedtime - The Palace, May '97
Nostalgiarama. Even moreso than the bands themselves, the vibe and atmosphere of the night was fantastic. I hadn't seen so many old (i mean familiar) faces in god knows how long. It was just a full on fun night (no thanks to the meat headed security staff).
Favourite Local Bands (Melbourne)
TDM
Beginning life as Tedium, a feminist/political performance thing, they mutated through Throbbing Gristle style noise art, to a Gary Numan inspired new wave sound, before forging their own quite unique style of distorted guitar melodies, synthesised sounds and distinctive emotive vocals.
Immaculata
Pretentious, gothy act of the sort i'd never expect to emerge from my hometown of Ballarat. A distinctive blend of dancey synths, mediaeval tunes and occasional thrashy guitars, with very camp Dead or Alive style vocals.
Clowns Smiling Backwards
Psychedelic, experimental, vaguely gothic. Ranging from hard industrial to eastern melodies to ambient woodwind pieces. The sounds are sometimes reminiscent of the Swans, but mostly they just sound like Clowns Smiling Backwards.
Womnal
Anything up to three drummers, two basses and a guitar make for one of the heaviest sounds in Melbourne. When in good form, the wall of sound is awesome. Used to have a cello in there as well in their early days.
Halo
Began as Insect, a heavy, grungy gothic outfit, they now have moved away from conventional song structures in preference for a 'freeform' noise assault, kept musical and energetic with a traditional guitar/bass/drumkit format and aggressive vocals.
H-Block 101
Old fashioned punk rock with a touch of reggae. Very much like the early Clash in a more hardcore vein, but without sounding at all like Rancid.
Bride of the Atom
Fusing guitar-based gothic sounds (eg Every New Dead Ghost) with hard-edged industrial percussion. The contrasting elements took a while to gel, but it's starting to come together quite nicely.
Favourite Local Bands of Days Past
The Stone Circus
Mia Stone's operatic/metal vocals over grinding, swirling, distorted guitar work. My favourite local band of all time. Unfortunately, hardly any recorded material is to be found, except on the odd compilation here and there, and a single which didn't do them justice.
Practical Folk Music
PFM was one of the first bands i saw in Melbourne, on the same night i first saw Stone Circus, when the whole Ballarat alternative scene came down for the Mavis's first big city gig. In a time before industrial meant techno, they were mind blowing.
The Borderland
Much beloved in the gothic circles of the day, they were really more of a hard rock band, though they did like the odd Bauhaus cover. Musically, they were tight as hell.
Soulscraper
From the ashes of the Prostitutes, this was one of the best techno/guitar bands around. Sadly missed, but from their ashes came Discordia and iNsuRge to remember them by.
Discordia
But alas, Discordia too appear to have disappeared from the scene. Another great techno/industrial/guitar act, with the tightness of Ministry and the passion of Henry Rollins. i waited a year to move them to the 'days past' section, in the hope that they would resurface.
No
Legendary industrial guitar band, were my favourite in the Good Ol' Days, but have dimmed in my memory over the years, as their recorded material didn't accurately capture the sound. Or maybe i was just too drunk.
Rope
Probably the only gothic band in town to keep the faith through that early 90's period when goth suddenly became really, really uncool. (Goth? Cool? When?) Maybe they wouldn't have described themselves as gothic, but it was damn well near enough when you needed a fix..
Crashland
Late '80s local act, kind of like an industrialised, sample driven version of Transvision Vamp. At least they left a decent recording to remember them by.
Voodoo Lovecats
70's/80's style glam punk rock (maybe like the Sex Pistols meets the Misfits if you really stretch it) with splatter makeup and a sense of humour. Good fun and a perfect excuse for a night of bad eyeliner and a drunken singalong. (i'm beginning to worry that putting bands into my 'current favourites' list causes them to soon become 'past favourites').
home .. about me .. photo gallery .. drawings .. poetry(1990-1) .. poetry(1992-5) .. poetry(1996-2000) .. rants .. fact file .. links .. rings .. mail me
