Take a breath, hold it. Count too three and then back again. Praying to see the pretty colors? The colors I am not entitled to know. The feelings the portray are lost to me. For, I am nothing but a hollow shell that was once a man. A man that once held many things in high regard, willing to protect them. Be it with an aspect of my being. Spirit, Mind, or Body. But then these things left me. The regard that was known to me was torn down and in it's place an idea anew was allowed it's growth. A better being I became, though hopes of old were still held. An angel of mercy entered my sight and brought warmth to that which was once cold. And still, her memory, sight, feel, voice and other aspect brings back this warmth. Though, I know it is temporary now. Never am I to hold such great things for much longer than an intsance, for I have been damned to a void. Mind and Spirit push apart, so much indeed that anything worth my blood would not be returned.

Only a fakeness of contentness and joy can allow my growth to continue as I wish. Only a mask, bearing a smile outside but streaked with tears on the inside, can keep this temporary warmth coming. It be few and far between, but it is what I wish. Too stubborn to change my ways, to gouge my eyes and return to the blindness I hate. Not even for the feelings I seek. For blindness does cause an eternal warmth. But it is a warmth of falsehood. And lasts only as long as the absence of the sight..