I am trying to create a new style, so it may look weird at first and you might have no idea who is the subject sometimes it happens. Rhythm may be weird as well. So don`t go commenting on the classical structure, this is a new style, and want to get better as well. (I write since I was 7-8, not kidding) My poems were at first in Romanian so the translation from it may sound stupid in some places - I will post both in Romanian and in English - maybe there are Romanian critics here too -- as well I got on the "a musical poem might be a bad poem, a non-musical poem is a good poem" - not by me it`s by an Romanian Poet - Nichita Stanescu. OK here it goes (my poems):

Red eyes

Turning lights from black rain
dropping on a bridge of tears
- lonely trees - lips of wind
in silent flashes.
Turn the button
of a white yellow leaf.
Call her to me raven on
life`s string
bringing with her - alone
the dust of love
from the broken pipes.

Thus time leeks.
Thus night leaves.

Red eyes go in peace.
White lips run in silance.
Blue cheeks are cut.

Nightly wind with a red eye
turn your shallow hearing to me
and speak of the love from the dust.


Echo...

A fragment from the moon slides
inside the overwhelming dream.

In layers from melted needles
- conscience is magnetic contrary.

With my soul is raining
every tear it drains
through flavoured stars...

Darkness - locked-up room of my mind.
lighted illusions
of passing noises,
- roses from sand.

A widows veil
covering - birds dancing lugubrious
inside the ash...

Days - the abyss will be forget...
in it I trow for you!
my: soul, eyes, lighted roses...

Petals from fir covering me
in the old forest,
alone...


not going to post now the Romanians ones (I have 20 poems in total and some new ideas for a book - new style... though this poems don`t quite show the new style.... in English)

Please comment, even though I told you I did`t follow the rules.
You can break any rules in poems except the love theme, you can`t take "love" to another level like those adult movies. I hate books that talk about how a guy/girl has done it with many people at once or something.... trust me I know those kind of books and are quite idiotic. - well maybe it is only my opinion.

You know what.. I do read some amatour English poetry day to day and your's is good.. I can tell that you have your original style, like many poets do. Surely, traditional forms is not something worth of neglecting, but the way people recognize themselves as a real poets is followed correctly.. (: You're able to bring uniqueness in a nice wrap. There will be a time when the poem will be natural, without any kind of wrap. thanky ???
do tell me if you're Marius from YC

I like the poems' style of choice. I haven't written in a year and want to change my style as well. You did quite a well job with some of the parts without rhyming. Well done.

Acausal, I noticed in your intro that you said you've been lurking here for a while.  If that's the case, you should also realise that we frown upon resurrecting several-months-old threads without good reason.  Please mind your dates when posting.