Heh, that story reminded me of my own school bus days. Taught me a valuable lesson: violence is not only an option, it's often the best option.

Yep. I didn't recognise the name immediately, but when the blurb mentioned the name of the group, it clicked and I had to look it up to make sure I remembered it correctly.

You're not the only person I've seen praise SPLC, and after looking more into them, they've definitely had my support.

Please send good thoughts my way, before I lose my mind! We are having a terrible time right now with my step-daughter, who is only 13. A few weeks ago, she was caught cutting....and today, she was caught drinking at school! My step-daughter lives with her mother and her step-father...so there is only so much we can do. After the cutting, my husband took her for ice cream and had a nice long talk with her...she said that she feels her mom and her step-father don't pay any attention to her, but only her little brother...and that she is tired of taking care of her little brother all the time. My husband made it clear to her that she can call him ANYTIME day or night when she is feeling upset or angry about things...or just to talk about whatever. She has been doing pretty good about calling him most days, and if he doesn't hear from her, he calls her in the evening. She was really excited about this dance recital she was supposed to be part of, and a couple of weeks ago we went out and spent the day shopping for all the things she needed for the recital. This evening was supposed to be that recital, but she has since been kicked out for getting caught drinking at school today! I don't know what to do! Naturally, being a step-parent, I have no say...so I basically am left sitting there watching everything go down. I still feel like we just got through with my older daughter's (my birth-daughter) craziness from 16-18...craziness that resulted in us having to kick her out of the house in order to protect my son (she started drinking at 16, and was a very mean drunk...got so alcohol-poisoned one night she ended up in the ER with my son in tears thinking his sister was going to die). I am so very thankful that my older daughter turned her life around before 20, and has become at 21 a very responsible adult. Those 2-3 years of my life were torture...I simply cannot take it again. Not to mention...my poor son, who is only 17 and a sophomore in high school! He already had to deal with his older sister taking my time away from him to concentrate on her problems, he really can't afford for that to happen right now! Seriously...we have begun going full force with him on college prep, trying to get him signed by a school in football, teaching him to drive, getting him studying for his ACT test...I have this whole Google calendar set up with all kinds of registration deadlines, etc. that is my job to stay on top of to make his potential football career a reality! This is his life-long dream!

I dunno...I feel so stressed and lost right now! Please, just send good thoughts my way!

Aww. GothicBfly, I hope things get better for you and your family. Will definitely be sending good thoughts to you. *hugs*

Well, if it helps, I'm experienced in helping people to stop self harming. I'm not sure how I'd advise a mother to help out in the situation, but I can give you a few points to make sure she gets the help she needs if you wish.

Bffy, you and your family are in my thoughts.
And Internet hugz if you want 'em [[[hug]]]

Bfly: I hope everything goes well for you and your family. And, of course, moar hugz. *hugs*


Turns out I might have to walk two miles everyday to get to work seeing as I have no car or liscence but need money. I've done it before so its no big deal. But the reaction I get from most people is quite funny. "You do?! I could never walk that far."

Bfly: I am deeply sorry to hear all that. I really hope your daughter overcomes this.

-- Fri May 04, 2012 6:14 pm --

Turns out I might have to walk two miles everyday to get to work seeing as I have no car or liscence but need money. I've done it before so its no big deal. But the reaction I get from most people is quite funny. "You do?! I could never walk that far."[/quote]


Now, the distance measured is a little different up here in Canada, but as a person who regularly walks 3-5 kilometres, I too find the sometimes laziness of others to be interesting. I can remember when I and some friends were about 5-8 blocks from a club and they wanted to take the bus to the point of shortest distance. Granted, I do see the logic in that, but coming from a person that sees 10-12k walks as no biggie, this can be a little funny because here I am with a disability that affects my energy levels + muscular strength and I go further on foot than a bunch of non-disabled people would in a normal situation.

Also, I've made an eye appointment this month - after hearing about the son of my mother's friend having to go for emergency retina surgery (due to growing detachment) and seeing little "orbs" that have been flashing up over the past 3 days or so, I thought it would be better to be safe than sorry. My disorder can cause blindness, so additionally that's another reason why I want to get my eyes checked.

I have 20 days before the eye exam (it's the only time they could fit me in). I hope this is just nothing; and hope even stronger that I won't end up blind by the 24th. I sincerely doubt that the latter will occur, however.

Thanks all! Going to be a rough road, but I'm hoping she learns from all of this, too! Seems it was all her friend's idea....stupid idea! My step-daughter will now have to go to an alternative school for the rest of this year and the beginning of next. Strict rules, uniforms, etc. We've killed her Facebook, and she basically has to earn Internet privs back because all this secretive stuff was going on in private chat. Scary what kids are into these days!

@Sanguine...I would welcome tips! Again, it scares me what kids are into these days. We are trying to push to have her move in with us...small town, we would know her friends and their parents, etc. With my son in football, he is pretty much a town celebrity...so everyone knows us. May be a better environment.

It is scary what kids will do without the parents knowledge. I had a friend whom I had known since the beginning of middle school (6th grade here). Well, our junior year she met guy who changed her. She started drinking, partying, doing things and acting in ways she never had before. By our senior year she was bring alcohol to school every single day. When I tried to talk to her about it, and every time I tried to help her in her personal life (which was a downward spiral at the time) was thrown back in my face. It was hard to watch, and I was only her friend. The fucked up thing is that her parents thought this guy was a better influence on her than I was because I was Goth. She ended up getting pregnant, he left her, and now she's a single mom trying to make it on her own- last I heard.

I know what it is like, I guess, to watch someone you love start to ruin their life and that you can do nothing to stop it. You definitely have my positive thoughts for you! I hope she puts herself together because it is not just her family (and and everyone else that she is hurting. She is hurting herself, and that is the worst part of it.

Bfly, I'm sorry about your step-doughter, 13 really IS young, but hopefully, it was just this once-instance shit teenagers do sometimes, especially when a friend talks them into that... I think, I would be more concerned if she went to a party and drank there. Although, it's still sad that she was kicked out of the recital...

But, if it will make you feel better about the situation, I've started drinking at early 15 (and I sometimes got *really* drunk; I've had my share of black-outs, too), and it's *never* hindered my life in any way. Actually, I think there are many people like that - considering that most people start drinking in their teens (from my experience, anyway). So I guess, drinking is alarming, but it doesn't have to mean the worst...

And, oh, orlok, I hope everything turns out okay with your eyes!
By the way, I'm a pretty regular lurker here, and I have to say I feel for you with regards your quest to move out of home. I'm in a similar situation, living here makes me feel just awful.

Having been a kid who got away with a lot of stuff that my parents never knew about: shit sorts itself out eventually.

However since you're not actually her mother it might be worth going to her privately and telling her that she can talk to you if she feels that she can't talk to her dad. Friends always hear more than parents.

Thanks, morana.

I appear to be having insane dreams again. Good times!

Sad, but very, very true.