Most people who've gone to Chinese restaurants in the USA are probably familiar with fortune cookies. I don't know if people outside the USA have heard of them, but I found some history on them (looks like they're not sure of their origin but the stories are good).

Generally, the fortune inside the cookie has a prediction "Winds of change will enter your life" or advice "Be careful this month in matters of money"

But what kind of fortunes would you find in Goth fortune cookies?
Post your suggestions here.

*Wait! what do you know? there is a website for you to send people gothic fortunes! And they take suggestions.*

I'll start:
You find beauty in dark and mysterious things - do not lose this ability.
As the absinthe glass is emptied, the heart is filled.

A raven on your bust of Pallas is worth two bats in the belfry.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you – go for the wrist where the veins are easier to find.

Speak softly and carry a big stake.

The darkest hour is just before the dawn. Then the dawn comes and everything sucks.

A watched cauldron never bubbles.

-- Nephele

Don't bury your dead in Jerusalem unless you want them rising again.*

What happens in the darkness stays in the darkness.

Bela Lugosi is still undead- and outside your window.

Dead Girls like me.

If You sleep with a zombie prostitute, you will become a Zombie Gigolo.

The Darkside doesn't actually have cookies.

* Sorry, Midi couldn't resist...

(And and laughing my ass off at Nephele's and Harpy's fortunes!)

Laughing my ass off at Nephele's and Midi's fortunes!

-- Sun Apr 17, 2011 6:17 pm --


Very appropriate for this time of year?



But apparently it has fortunes!

"There is something evil right behind you now. Don't turn around!"

"Your meal was poisoned, you should have just had this cookie."

"The person who wrote this fortune doesn't like you either"

My brother-in-law suggested "You're dead. This piece of paper has anthrax powder on it."

"Thank you for volunteering to be audited by the IRS"

"Anthrax? This fortune has scratch n' sniff bubonic plague"

Damn. Hahaha...

The Zombie takeover will happen in exactly 3..2..1..No? Well, when have you ever been right either?


It's okay- I sold your soul for you. It now belongs to Twilight Fans everywhere...oh and Justin Beiber.

I Spy Something Black....and in this room- you have fun finding that!

Now that is just evil!

They'll not know which way to look first!

If I had that cookie my reaction would probably be:

Exactly which color black are we talking about here?

--
Goth Fortune Cookie Saying:

I see horror and devastation for your future. It is called reality.

haha! good fortunes so far! A few of mine:


*A coffin nail saved is a coffin nail earned.

*If you would have had the buffet, you could have saved $3.95 and bought more sunscreen.

*Today's forecast: a high chance of doom, with scattered doom throughout the evening, and a 70% chance of doom tonight. Your lucky numbers: 13, 666

*Your hair is black, your clothes are black, your nails are black. If these colors don't look right to you, perhaps it's your TV set. (old, old TV commercial.)

*Those fraternity people at the table behind you secretly think you're cool.


*Melancholy is for all. Pass it on.


*That single female doctor at the table behind you needs a man like you.


*Arsenic and old lace are a great gift idea.


*The wise goth never tries to be happy when it's so much easier to be miserable.


*It's 10:30 pm. Do you know where your ankh is?


*The dama in Spain live mainly on the plain. (Not gothic, but a nice fortune just the same.)

Lach, I am laughing my ass off right now! Hahaha...great fortunes!

*It's 10:30 pm. Do you know where your ankh is?

For some inexplicable reason, that just got to me.

cookies are best served in tins, cyanide in cookies so bring lots of tins