Granted. Your name is now William Faith.

I wish my cup of tea made itself.

Granted. It can also drink itself.

I wish I could get a free ride on SpaceShip Two.

Granted. You have been transformed into a commsat.

I wish I could transform into a superhero.

Granted. You're Sailor Moon.

I wish I had a lightsaber.

Granted. But the "On" switch is broken.

I wish Sarah Palin would come and sweep me off my feet.

Granted, but she only does it in a game of Curling.

I wish I could see Great Big Sea live in Niagara Falls on New Years Eve.

Granted. The Eastern half of North America just disappeared into the ocean. Welcome to the new Atlantis!

I wish my stomach would stop rumbling so embarrassingly.

Granted. You're depraved of food for a week.

I wish my teachers in school were emo

Granted. But you'd spend every school day listening to them bitch about how pathetic their lives are (yes, I used a stereotype, I know).

I wish piercings didn't hurt.

Granted. You now have iron skin which needles will never pierce again.

I wish I was within a few minutes' walk of all my friends on goth.net.

granted. But everyone's houses are surrounded by impassable lava.

I wish I had a tail

Granted. But your tail is invisible, and will cause you to constantly trip over yourself.

I wish life made sense.

Granted. But Monty Python and the movies of Mel Brooks just ceased to exist.

I wish apes had never evolved.

Granted, they devolved back into tadpole like creatures.

I wish that I could meet a ghost

Granted, but you can't see it or hear it.(Don't even think to feel that ghost!) Sorry xD


I wish I could do a trip to another planet