if anyone would be so kind, please read this. Thanks to all those who do.

I don't know whether or not I am goth or not. Recently I watched a show on MTV about "goth sex" (I hate mtv but I had to watch!) not for the sex part of it but moreso for the goth part of it. The subculture has been really interesting, and I always had a lot of respect for goths. I always had the thought of becoming one later in life. That night I couldn't sleep, I had this urge to find out more about the gothic subculture, because something came over me when I watched the show. So I stayed up all night looking up the gothic culture. I found out about all the different kinds of goths, the history, and all that stuff. I visited these boards, etc. I had dreams of being goth about a week ago, it was weird, there was this goth club that I was going to, and it just felt like i belonged I know I sound corny, but I can't describe it any other way. I have always been different. I mean I'm not an "outcast" so to speak, but I have just been different. That is what people will say if you ask them about me. I'm "weird, freaky, different," etc. People think I'm goth, I mean they even ask me if i am. Usually i reply "no" or "I don't know." But after researching the gothic subculture, and observing other goths, and things like that, I realized I want to be goth. So far, I feel like I fit in more with them. I mean I wear black and/or red most of the time, and that's why people figure I'm goth (my hair plays a small role in it too and so does my music) but I neverknew what to say. It just feels right , like I am around people like myself, that I fit in. I have felt like a HUGE chunk of my life was missing, and after I gave thought to being goth, it feels like that's fulfilled. I personally am my own worst enemy, so I'm asking what you all think. I probably won't be as "goth" as some are, cause i'm not in the position to right now. The clothes yeah, but right now I can't get any piercings or tatoos. Even though appearance has little to do with goths. I know this girl, she's goth, a year older than me. I never thought of her as "true goth" cuz she didn't wear black all the time, just some, she didn't seem like it, her hair wasn't black etc. Then i realized how I was comparing her to stereotype goth, which she isn't. She is one of the true goths in this world, and you have to get to know her to find that out. It's just that I have never fit in with ANY other "group" although it may seem like it, but I have to put on a facade to fit in anywhere. There is one goth I can hang around, and my friends would still be my friends if I was goth. It's just that a missing chunk seems to be restored when i call myself goth, and I fit in with people like me. It's like I have something to look forward to everyday, and I can finally like myself. I am not passionate about many things, actually only like one or two I can think of, and this is one of them. It gives me soemthing to look forward to. What do you think? Do you think I am/should be goth? Even if I can't get piercings/tattoos, etc. at the moment? Even if I can't wear all black all the time? (My wardrobe has lots of dark blues and stuff I don't know why though lol)

Thanks to everyone who reads this and doesn't trash me for it lol! I just needed to get that out and no one I know would listen.

I did not watch the MTV special on Goth Sex, but I know many people who did and were quite dismayed by it. Not that anyone expected MTV to come remotely close to accurate, but they managed to portray Goths as all being into pervy and kinky sex, unsafe sex and bloodletting and cutting etc. So please don't take the MTV program all that seriously.

I'm not sure if I, or anyone, can say you're Goth or not. However stating that you dreamed about it and felt you belonged, you seem to be on the right track I suppose. If you're of an age I suggest checking out any local Goth scene that you may have availible to you, that would probably help you find out more about the people that frequent the scene. Check out the Links and Community section here on GOTH.NET where I've put up a lot of links to scene pages and artists/bands and clothing stores and general resources... they should provide more than enough information.

About the piercings and tattoos... having one or more of either or none at all have nothing to do with being a Goth. Many Goths do have body decorations or modifications but it is not par for the course, it's up to your own personal aesthetics. I like modifications but up to a degree which is defined by my personal taste... so I'd never get more things done than I like... there's always going to be someone with more/more extreme things than you and you surely don't have to try and keep up or something. PreZ, my other half, is not at all interested in getting any modifications at all, and remains unpierced and uninked. He doesn't mind me wanting and having things done which is a bonus.

So bottom line for that... get them because you want them, not because you think they add to extra "gothiness".

As you also mentioned about the one Goth girl you know that doesn't wear black all the time, I think you've answered your own question in regards to being Goth and not wearing black clothing 100% of the time. Not all Goths wear black all the time. The clothing remains dark colours usually, but not necessarily only black.

Just check out the scene and the music and if you like it, keep going.

Lilith

thanks i really do appreciate it.
Yeah i know that the piercings and tattoos don't have anything to do with them, i DO want them but I can't get them right now.

Actually, I'm not of age to attend a club but I will as soon as i can.

Oh no I had no interest whatsoever in the sex part, and yeah I've heard that the show was inaccurate, I watched for the got part not the sex part.

I have a new appreciation for that girl now!!! lol she says i'm her favorite cuz up till now i have been semi-goth.

Thanks for the Advice!!!

welcome..i know the feeling,it just feels right.. well,glad you joined.check out some music too,if you want some bands to listen to,ask around.yes,i usually wear a bit of color..well,in what do you want to get helped with?



Edited By BlueFreak on April 06 2002 at 23:30

hey thanks for the welcome, usually forum welcomes are pretty rude and the newbies get trashed a lot. Hopefully that isn't true here, although every newbie is nervous.

i know.well,i modified my other post,read it,and i might help(note:im kinda new to the scene too,for about more than a year,but i can help)

i have heard of a few bands, and i'm working on dling mp3's and if i like em, i'll find the cd's. i like what i've heard though.

I'm new to the gothic scene too, although I've known of it for years. For some reason I feel more at home or relaxed this way ('goth' like)- I might finally have come home after a long journey, take off my coat and boots and plop down on the couch with some chocolate coffee.
B)
I think it's safe to be myself here in the forums without people throwing stones and laughing when they hit me.

I just wish I had come to this sooner. It might have saved me a lot of grief and confusion. But I guess I just wasn't ready then. I'm still not completely sure, I have to be me whether I'm goth or not. I feel the same whether I wear black or white or electric blue. But I have my whole life to define "me" to the finest detail.

You usually find what you're looking for when you really want to find it. For me, it was finding out who I am, and what I'm here for. I am 21 and still finding...

You should be how you feel best and if that is defined as being 'gothic'....welcome home.




lizbeth-finding forever



Edited By lizbeth on April 08 2002 at 15:48

Lizbeth - That was beautiful. I'm glad our true family is a little bigger now.

Mia - I think that you may have been fully and truly goth for longer than you think, since you feel so strongly about it (that goes for you as well, lizbeth). You need worry not, for it is quite possible to be even an ubergoth without any piercings or tattoos whatsoever (I myself have none) or having never been to a club. I for one am proud to have you all among our number.

Thine for eternity,
Seraphim

that was really nice of you phlegelos, like the name 2. i have never been welcomed like that. a lot of people think i'm a "poseur" because of my age, and sometimes I act a little loopy, but i go on natural highs a lot. but whati stand for is not to judge, and i mean everyone has their issues right? don't judge ppl before u know them!! today my ex b/f...(aaah puppy luv...6 days lmao he didnt even know how old i was! i didnt even know his last name!)well now he's an ass and he's all like "ur not a rebel u dont know what it is" cuz he's a druggy and i wore a rebel shirt today...i'm like "wtf just becuz i dont do pot dont mean i'm not a rebel" he doesn't even KNOW me!!! but u are right i feel so comfortable like i found this big missing piece being goth. people always told me that i was and stuff, but i myself wasn't sure u know. well thanx every1 for welcomin me.
DON'T JUDGE!!!!
-mia

oh also i 4got i typed it but deleted it by accident; thanks lizbeth good i'm not alone!

I'd agree with that. My mom's 60-something and still finds more of herself everyday! It'll last the rest of your life so try to enjoy every pleasure and learn from every pain.

The name is above the avatar (picture). Phlegethos is just an indication of how many posts a person has made in the forum. Just like you currently have "Dis" under your user name. The person who posted was Seraphim.

There's an explanation about the posting classes in the Help section called "Want to know what the Avernus means?" which explains all the classes.

Lilith

lmao i feel stupid.

Don't. You're not the first to not understand what the Avernus/Dis/Phlegethos/Nessus stuff means, though the first to mix it up as the nickname. Easily done as they're near enough to each other.

Lilith