I like to think that most younger people aren't as homophobic as the older generations, but seems every time I go out I hear 'faggot' or something of that nature. Not directed towards me of course, but just the other day, some rather thuggish fellow was yelling just that along with some other violent remarks to some random kids. Maybe thats not an indication of the majority, but it does often seem that way.

Count me in if you manage to get something of a fundraiser for these kids, Nephele. I wouldn't be able to contribute much since I'm still jobless, but I will do what I can.

I'm from Colorado. We don't do Geography or that fancy book-learning out here in cattle country.

And Neph - let me know what your friend finds out. I'd be happy to donate some crepe paper and tacky decorations for the cause.

~spidey

There appear to be two things that the school took issue with here. The first being the same-sex date, and the second being the attire that one of the two girls had in mind. It's fairly common for schools to have dress codes for functions like this, and it's not unusual for formal functions to require adherence to sex-stereotypes (girls in dresses, guys in tuxes & suits). Every time my school district had a formal function, they required the girls wear skirts or dresses, and the guys normal tuxes or suits depending on how formal the event was. My school was far into yankeeland and the people I knew in other districts had to abide by similar rules. This is common throughout our society, the courts have consistently ruled that employers can force their employees to abide by sex-stereotypes (for instance requiring women have long hair, use makeup, while requiring guys have short hair, no makeup) particularly in certain industries like hospitality/resort fields. It's frequently far more expensive for women to meet these requirements than it is for the guys, a fact that when also taking into consideration pay disparages shows a problem of another conversation.

I wouldn't be surprised if most of the kids were indifferent to the whole thing. It probably would have been gossiped about for weeks after the prom, but my money is on the parents & faculty being the ones who were taking issue with the whole thing. It really annoys me when I see adults trying to ruin experiences for kids over stuff like this, there was a school district in upstate New York a few years ago that banned all Halloween celebrations in their elementary schools. Why? Because some of the fundie parents were upset that it was encouraging "devil worship" or something like that. The kids didn't care about any of it, all they knew was that they weren't allowed to go to school in their costumes [as had been the tradition for decades at the school]. It is pretty easy to say that this is a bible-belt problem, because of where the story originates from, but the truth is there are school districts all over the country that act like this.

Clearly, the administration screwed the pooch.

Don't get me wrong, like it was mentioned, I applaud this young woman's courage and no one should have to put up with this type of non-sense by school officials, but it is really worth bringing down every one else with you? Personally, I wouldn't appreciate it, but at the same, yes, I do understand the situation and I think something like this should not be something to drag the whole senior class with you.

In all honesty though, what were they expecting? This is the South we are talking about here. It is the conservative section of our country, and in all honesty, I'm not shocked at all by this. Here in NYC, no one would care if you brought a purple person with three legs, but you have to remember this is the South where this took place. Don't be surprised if this happens more often; it is simply not reported.

Change will come to the South, but I don't think the ACLU is likely to solve anything, when really, this whole problem can be solved with a PTA meeting with the school board; again, making a mountain out of a mole hill thesis still stands.

When I look at this, in terms of the bigger picture, who are we to say that they are wrong or right? Or worse yet, to even condemn or judge? I don't know the answer, and in all honesty, I would not want to be the one to try to answer.

I do like the idea of a fundraiser for the kids to have something; they deserve that much. If you do decide to do something, I'm game.

Phenom, while I love and adore the open-minded tone of your post, and would normally support a mail like this, I think that in this instance, we are able to say who's right and who's wrong. The governing body are saying it's acceptable to make a different set of rules for people according to their sexuality (effectively condemning lesbians, and, presumably, gay men, to second-class status, and denying them choice); they're also behaving in a very manipulative fashion to effectively turn the lesbians concerned into the villains of the piece.

And that, to my mind - even overlooking my personal feelings on the matter - is wrong, surely?

Very nicely stated, DarklyInclined/Minnie. Phenom, many thanks to you for bringing this to everyone's attention here, by starting this topic. Sgath92, you're right -- it's not just a problem in the South, as there are schools all over the country that act like this.

Besides the fact that this is not a private school we're talking about here, but a public school, which means that the administrators are subject to restrictions in terms of the violation of the rights of students, I just want to add that a memo from the school administrators has been made public by the Clarion Ledger (no doubt acquired through a Freedom of Information Act request).

The school memo, dated February 5, 2010, makes it quite clear that it's not a matter of any dress codes being broken (by a girl planning to wear a tuxedo to the prom). It is specifically a matter of gay students not being permitted to bring their date of choice to the prom:



You can read the school memo in its entirety here:

http://www.clarionledger.com/assets/pdf/D0153476310.PDF

Before she even contacted the ACLU, Constance approached the teacher named in the memo, to voice her concern. She followed the school's procedure, doing exactly as instructed to do in the memo. She was flat out told by that teacher to "remember where you are."

Note to Spidey: New Orleans hotel owner Sean Cummings has offered to transport students in buses to the city, where he will host a prom free of charge at one of his properties.

The ACLU has also set up a Facebook group for anyone who wishes to post a note of support to Constance. You can find it here:

Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to the Prom

-- Nephele

I think the word is "oops".


In the light of many of the discussions currently going on about this - not just on gnet, but on the Facebook page too - it's unlikely she's going to forget. Just, not quite in the way they mean.

Excuse me while I do the conga around my house! This is fantastic news - thanks for reporting it, Nephele!

Done!!

Thank you once again, Nephele!!

This not only leaves out gay and lesbian couples, though I KNOW this is who they were targeting with this rule! I mean, what if I were not very popular in my school, and I wanted to bring my best friend who went to another school or was home-schooled in my neighborhood so that I wouldn't be sitting there at the prom by myself because I didn't have a boyfriend or any real friends? Would the school have reacted the same way? Would be nice to know, because if the school would have had a different response if it were just a friend, then I would sue the crap out of them if I were Constance! Can you say college money...LOL? Then, go to college and study to be a civil rights attorney...that would certainly get her the last laugh!

Great news, Nephele, on the offer from your contact!

Absolutely! Along those same lines you suggested, why is the school apparently presuming that a student's date for the prom means that there's sexual activity taking place between the two? Okay, realistically, a lot of teens are sexually active. But there are also those -- whether they identify themselves as straight or gay -- who aren't sexually active. By insisting that one's guest for the prom must be "of the opposite sex" sounds a lot to me as though the school administrators are encouraging teenage sexual activity.



I don't think my contact knows Sean Cummings, but I'll ask.

-- Nephele

-- Fri Mar 12, 2010 8:06 pm --



This is what my contact (President of the Freethought Society of Greater Philadelphia) sent me this evening.

Humanists Prepare to Hold LGBT-Inclusive Prom in Mississippi

-- Nephele

-- Fri Mar 12, 2010 9:32 pm --

P.S. For anyone in the NYC area who's interested, my friend Margaret Downey (Pres. of the Freethought Society mentioned above) will be giving a talk for the New York City Atheists, titled "What Atheists Can Learn from the Women's Movement" this Sunday at 12 noon at The Press Box Pub & Restaurant (932 Second Ave., Manhattan).

-- Nephele

Does she have a FB or website to go to? I am very interested, but way out west so I won't be attending her NY event.

~spidey

The Freethought Society.

-- Nephele

When I was going to school certain people were made fun of for being 'gay' or 'lesbians'. It didn't matter which, it was used as slander. I'm very ashamed to admit that I quit hanging out with one girl because people started calling us 'lesbians' in middle school. I wish I'd had the brass ovaries back then that I do now and told the other kids to fuck off. I still feel bad for ditching her.

I say good for COnstance for standing up to her school. I remember in highschool there were a couple of instances where I was called a lesbian because my friend Jessica and I were always hanging out and were the only skateboarders in our town. I think they were just jealous. I wonder if that is part of the reason she doesn't talk to me anymore, hmm.

Wow, that was the oppisite of me in high school I remember that for a while my best friend and I would pretend to be girlfriends just to piss people off. We seen no problem with holding hands and being together constantly or even joke about 'being lesbians', espeically when we knew it would annoy someone.

Of course, if ever i were to do anything like that again it would be to make a statement for equal treatment of homosexuals than to get under someone's nerves...such a petty reason really.

Well, I was in fostercare at the time trying to do my best in school and keep my nose to myself. I'd already been in an altercation with some redneck cunt(she knew my situation but I guess she figured it would be funny to do it. She was just a fuckin bitch.) and was told that my school performance would affect my chances of going back home to my mother. Still no reason to ditch her, I was just in an emotional hell and trying to avoid anything that would jeoporadize my chances of going home and prolonging my stay in fostercare.