In my choir class today the alto section was sitting around telling dumb jokes. So, what all have you guys heard... please keep them clean! no blond jokes, degrating religious jokes, or "dead baby jokes".

my funny joke of the day.... actually i have two

first one: There were four children playing at a playground, and a firetruck passed with a dalmation on it. The first little bob said, "why is there a dalmation on the tuck" the second little boy, said, "He's there to smell out the smoke" the third little boy said, "NO, he is there to pull people out of the fire" the little girl turned to them and said "NO! he's there to find the fire hydrent!

My friend morgan thought it was pretty funny I find it elementary.

second joke:
Why do elephants paint their tonails red? to hide in the cherry trees............... well? have YOU ever seen one

yeah, its dumb,


>satans child

=:)

theres a board dedicated to entirely to humour in the entertainment section

(i hope this isnt seen as backseat moderating i only meant it as advice)

You need someone like my friend Jordan to say the jokes. He can somehow make anything funny. He could probably read telephone numbers and crack you up. Anyway...my contribution:

A man goes to a docter with his duck. He tells the doctor that he believes the duck is dead, but he wants another opinion. The doctor looks it over and comes to the same conclusion. Seemingly upset, the man asks for another opinion to ease his mind. The doctor leaves and shortly after returns with a cat. He held the cat next to the duck and after examining the cat's reaction, he told the man that the duck was dead. Troubled and desperate, the man asks for one more opinion, so the doctor puts the cat away and comes back with a Labrador Retriever. The dog sniffs around the duck and the doctor once watches the reactions and tells the man the duck is dead. Very upset the man started to leave with his duck. The doctor stopped him and asked, "What about the fee of $1200?". The man replies in question, "$1200! Wasn't your opinion free?" The doctor says, "Oh yes, but you had a cat scan and a lab report".

AHAHAHAHAH!!!! oh okay, ya it sucks, but it's all I could think of this early in the morning.

Haha, some jokes are meant to be laughed at for the sole reason they are so corny. Those jokes were prime examples.

A cow is standing in a field next to another cow. It turns to it and says "Aren't you afraid of catching that Mad Cow Disease that makes you go insane?"

The other cow looks back with disdain and says "WTF are you talking about, I'm a chicken."

my art teacher told us this one-
what does a grape do when u stand on it?
makes a little wine (whine)
and the the really bad ones-
what do u call a boy (bouy) in the sea?
bob
what do you call someone with no legs beyond the kees?
neal
yeah, they're really bad...

Why do elephants have big ears?

Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.

~CoD~

what do you call a girl with one leg? jean

what does the monster eat after he went to the dentist? the dentist

What's this-> __


A dead one of these-> |


Moving to Humour (:

Q. How many Country and Western singers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 100. One to change it and the other 99 to sing about how good the old one was.

*Badda boom*

This is one of Monsters' favorite jokes. It's...fairly clean.

A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a pint. The bartender notices his cutomer looks a bit down, so being the good bartender he is, he asks what's wrong. The man looks up from his pint and says,
"You see this bar? I built it with my own two hands. Broke three fingers in the process. But do they call me McMurphey the Bar Builder? No."
He then turns and points out the window.
"You see that pier out there? I built it with my own two hands. Fell in the water twice and caught pneumonia. But do they call me McMurphey the Pier Builder? No. But you shag one goat......"

Yeah, it's kind of lame, but Monster tells it so often....

i'll get back to yas when i can think of some

A horse walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender turns around and says "Awww why the long face?"

There was this prison. and there was only one book, it was a joke book. Now everyone in this prison had read this joke book, and memorized all the jokes. One day, joe, the new guy, came into the jail, and he was sitting at lunch, just observing his new home for the next 20 years, and he sees someone stand up and yell "number 43!" the room bursts out into laughter, and the man sits down. Then another guy stands up and says "number 115!" and the room burts out into laughter again, and he sits down. Joe was very lost as to what was happening, so he asks the man sitting next to him. the man says "well, theres only on book in this place, a joke book, and we have all read it, and memorized it. Now all we do is shout out the number." "oh, I get it" joe responded. So the next day, after joe has read the book, he stands up and yells, "number 27!" and he starts to laugh, but no one else does, so he says "comeone everyone number 27!" again, noone laughs.... so the man sitting next to him says "dont worry about it, some can tell them, some cant"

the funny thing about that joke... I only know a few eople who can actually tell it... and make people laugh

=:) satanschild

There once was an elephant named Banana. A monkey ate him.

Ok, this one is amazingly funny:

*Seuk np: Britney Spears - Stygmata Martyr
:p

Lame-o