I just made plans to see "Van Helsing" on Friday night at the local drive-in-movie theatre with my husband and a friend of ours. I can't wait.

We watched the "making of" program on the Sci-Fi channel this weekend, and it has really whetted my appetite to see the movie. Seeing it at the drive-in will be absolutely perfect...we can bring our own food, and comment on the film as much as we like. Should be a hoot.

I'm going sunday, I can't wait to see it, it looks fantastic!!

I seem to be the only one that wants to see it in my community...
Well it's not like they're all the soul of taste.

Anyway, looks great!

-Sinister

Dracula lays eggs in this movie.

I shit you not.

Mark my words, this movie is going to be one of the biggest pieces of cinematic excrement released this year.

~Nachtzehrer, who will go see it anyway, as he is a shill for monsters~

This is news to me. I will see it but probably not on its opening day. I usually like to wait a week or so for the crowd to die out. From the moment I saw the first trailer I got all excited (sure the computer graphics can't compare with Lord of the Rings, but if the storyline is decent, it should be good enough for me).

I've been the only one I know (aside from new-found ally Nachtzehrer - you'd be surprised how often we disagree on movies ) who is entirely down on this movie.

I'm going to see it eventually because I'm a fan of Hugh Jackman and have an enormous crush on Kate Beckinsale (married... just like Allison Hannigan... foiled again). But really, the CG looks like low-end video game fare even in some of the previews. That reminds me, it seems to be a cheap marketing ploy since the game is being advertised as strenuously and comes out the DAY the movie hits theaters.

My more snobbish objections stem from the concept of "Van Helsing: monster hunter" - where the character is destroyed to unrecognizability and then put up against Hollywood's (no offense Nachty and BR) version of Frankenstein's monster, the wolfman, and vampires- well... there doesn't seem to be much plot outside of killing lots of Green Screen beasties.

Don't get me wrong, I love the death of Green Screen beasties as much as the next guy, but I prefer there to be some plot mixed in there...

And what are those little hand-held buzzsaws supposed to be? Please...

Captain Nevarre
...gonna go watch an incomprehendable arthouse flick now... like "Gladiator"...

:O
WTF?!
Lays Eggs?
fuckin hollywood...

I'll still see it, seeing it looks ten times better than anything else available.

I probably should spare myself the breath but...will Dracula have any of his historical truth in the movie? I mean...any historical truth at all or is going after the Bram Stoker angle?


-Sinister

There's a screening midnight on Thursday I'll go to if I can. I'm in a play that night, though, so I may have to wait until next week.

Dracula lays eggs . . . well, that wasn't in the novel, unless I missed it. Maybe I'll write a short story based on that.

"He sat there laying eggs until the sun came up. Nobody could understand the mysterious Dracula, always caged like a bird. What a moody and brooding soul must he have, in order to resort to laying eggs. No one ever expected this from Dracula. The man looks scary enough, but then lays eggs in front of God and everyone. What's one to think?"

You know, that story should maybe, um, let's see, be made into a big-budget Hollywood horror film.

There is a short story about Dracula by Woody Allen that's very funny. Dracula goes out during a solar eclipse because he thinks it's night, then ends up hiding in a closet at a dinner party.

Dude, I am offended, but not by you . . .

I mean, fuck, has anyone even seen the trailer?

Here is a quick breakdown of what is wrong:

1. Van Helsing works for the Vatican. Is he, perhaps, the great-great-grandfather of James Woods' character from John Carptenter's Vampires . . . or is this just another tired cliche that has fuck-all to do with the source material? I'll go for what is behind door #2. Oh, and ol' Van is not just on a quest to kill vampires and whatever gothic freaks of nature decide to snarl at him, but also to "search for the secrets of his origins and family". Yeah, that's never been done before . . .

2. Frankenstein's Monster is called "Frankenstein". I may be a gothic literature geek, but shit like that pisses me off. That would be like calling the Mona Lisa "Leonardo". Also, the Monster looks like an irradiated wrestler with a frontal lobotomy.

3. I could have made a better Wolf Man model on my childhood Speak-n-Spell.

4. Aside from the afore-mentioned egg-laying, Dracula looks like some kind of bizarre love child begot by Robert Smith and an effite anime character, after receiving a makeover from Queer Eye for the Straight Vampire. It also promotes the ridiculous, Eurotrash, Anne Rice abortion of an image that has proliferated vampire films for almost thirty years. The shame of it is that Richard Roxburgh is actually a good choice to play the Count. Oh, and he inevitably changes into a big, stupid monster-bat for the climax. which totally makes sense . . . if you live in a Nintendo game.

5. Hey, remember that part in Dracula where Van Helsing's first name was "Abraham"? Well, evidentally Stephen Sommers thought that name was way too wimpy for a tough-as-nails action hero. So, using the same prescient judgment that led him to the fabulous decision of casting a professional wrestler digitally imposed over an Atari 2600-level graphic of a giant scorpion for the main villain of The Mummy Returns, he changed Van Helsing's first name to something much more badass: Gabriel. "Oh, no, Dracula! You'd better run away fast! Gabriel the Vampire Hunter is coming for you!" The only vampire who would be scared of a guy named Gabriel would be . . . well, a sissy-looking vampire like Dracula from Van Helsing. I guess it's all relative.

6. In the middle of the 19th century, Van Helsing fights Edward Hyde (who looks even worse than the Hyde who limped through The League of Exraordinary Gentlemen) on the towers of Notre Dame cathedral in Paris. I guess only lame bookworms pay attention to things like Hyde being from fucking England in the late 19th century and not looking like an albino Incredible Hulk.

Shit, I could go on and on . . . and on . . . but I will stop now. This movie is going to make shitloads of money, generate a sequel and an animated prequel, clog toystore shelves with lackluster action figures, and none of that will change the fact that this movie should have been the most amazing film of the summer and will wind up being a boil on the ass of horror films and an abomination to the legacy of the Universal Monsters.

~Nachtzehrer, who could have done this film SOOOO much better~

According to a review in The Age, Gabriel is apparently Abraham's younger brother.

I'm going to go see it as curiosity won't let me ignore it nor my Hugh Jackman obsessed mum so there's no avoiding it really. It is probably going to end up like Underworld, gloss over substance. I was watching the making of it on MTV yesterday (again because my mum made me) and I thought the special effects looked a bit cheap, especially those female vampires flying down on the village, they looked very tv-movieesque. And it seems a bit shoddy feeling the need to throw in so many different monsters like Dracula, Wolfman, Frankenstein's Monster and Mr Hyde. It's like they just stole the idea from LXG to throw them all into a blender. And I agree with the points made by Nacht. The searching for the family stuff is tired, changing his name was just plain stupid and Dracula is apparently supposed to be charming and seductive but all I got from the scene the documentary demonstrated the point with was a lameass loser who I wouldn't touch with a pole .

I've just realised there's already a Van Helsing thread that's been going on for 2 pages:

Van Helsing

"Listen to zem, the chickens of ze night..."

I saw it tonight. (Came out today in Australia, the 6th, for some reason)

Dracula does not lay eggs. They are his brides'.

All in all, I thought it was pretty decent. Though there was this arsehole next to me constantly yapping.

Go see it. It's good for a laugh, especially Dracula's Oompa Loompas. Lol.

Yeah, I looked at the movie preview and heard all of the hype of this movie. Kate to Van Helsin; "Van Helsin your reputation precedes you." Wow, that great original dialog if there ever is one.

The trailer does look amazing until middle of the video, then I begin to cringe with campy factor set in. There's Van with the mult-weapons package like "Enter the Dragon" and MIB. There's Van fighting the Wolfman, then Dracula, then Frankenstein, etc. Wow, he fighting the entire forces of evil. He is the world greatest superhero. I'm amazed !

I believe this film is going to be across between "Enter the Dragon" and the "Seven Deadly Venoms". Updated with the "Wild, Wild, West" look. Just like "The League of Extra Ordinary Gentlemen". Damn how original. This is going to be all show and but very little substance and storyline to it. Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale performances will help save this film. It may do very well in the boxoffice based on the performances alone. Then again it may not. For I believe people might come to see this movie just for the special effects. They do look very cheap and unrealistic IMHO. Not to mention that Dracula in this film looks like a clown. Where's the circus?

I'll wait for the DVD.