Do you have/had an eating disorder?
I myself am ED-NOS.

I'm curious to see how many there are frequenting these boards. Eating disorders, I think, are one of those "gothic stereotypes".

If you don't feel like sharing here, PM me.

Oh, and let's not hijack this thread into a "my life is so horrible I just have to STARVE myself" pity-party type thing. Just don't even go there. This also isn't about whether or not you associate eating disorders with goth - some people do, it doesn't matter. That's not what I'm asking.


<3,
K.

I don't think being gothic is something I would stereotype with an eating disorder, however blonde haired varsity cheerleaders have eating disorder all written over them.

As for me, I sp occasionally skip lunch, but having an eating disorder? No way, I am constantly told how small and sometimes how boney I am. I have maybe two vanity pounds that I fret over, but otherwise I am content with my weight. Though, I remember in middle school being very weight conscience. (I supposed it's a stage girls go through at that age.) I tried making myself puke once and found out it was a lot of work just to make your self gag.

The waifish look is popular and associated with "goth" in my experience; particularly waifish young men.

I could be wrong, but I seem to remember it being brought up on here before. <3

A couple of years ago i was anorexic and bulimic. It wasn't really about weight as much as it was about control, as i had always been skinny, but when i realised that my weight was something i could control, i became obsessed with losing as much of it as possible. It took me a while to get over that but i finally saw sense and realised i was getting nowhere by starving myself and forcing myself to throw up after eating a couple of lettuce leaves.
I am now anorexic for the second time. Or i suppose it's called Anorexia, i can't think what else to call it. I didn't get this way intentionally, but due to illness i was unable to eat and still am now, and when i try to eat i throw up (not induced by me.) I've been fed through injections and had food pumped through tubes up my nose and down my throat (very pleasant) but i'm not making much progress. It's made me extremely ill and led to a lot of other health problems and i'm trying hard to get over it. I'm not sure if i'm getting anywhere, but i'm definitely trying this time.

I too have been there, however I wouldn't associate eating disorder with a list of gothic stereotypes that quickly come to mind.
Also, it is common in people who restrict their food to do it for the feeling of control. Control over some aspect of my life was one of the more influencial factors for me when I started to restrict my diet. Ironic though, thinking about food began to completely consume and control me in the end.

Lizz

I haven't had any eating disorders myself, but I have grown up with a mother who has been and is both anorexic and bulemic, and what Lizz says about "the feeling of control" is absolutely correct. My mom has her good periods where she eats normally, but whenever she feels like her life is getting out of control, she starts either throwing up after meals or not eating at all.

Another thing is that, and I do not mean to offend anyone here, people with eating disorders tend to behave very selfishly about it. It is a disease, and you can't blame anyone for being sick, but they rarely seem to realize (or care) that they are not only hurting themselves, but the people who love them as well. When my mom goes through one of her bad periods, which can last for months or even years, it affects my entire family in a very bad way.
Not only does she not care that we are afraid that she is slowly killing herself, but she also starts to blame us for everything that is wrong with her life, even though we try to support her as best we can. Screaming, yelling, crying, etc. Signs of serious emotional problems, but it slowly gets to the point where you start thinking "this is too much, I am just going to stop caring." And then you can't do that either, and the situation just gets worse. I honestly don't know how my dad deals with it - he must love her very much.

Sorry if I made anyone feel bad or anything, but I felt like getting this off my chest, and approach the subject from a different angle. Eating disorders tend to be a problem for the whole family, and not just the person who is suffering from them, which I think is a point that should not be missed.

Oh, believe me. I know what it feels like. It's entirely a control issue. Ironic indeed, that what starts as a way to "be in control" turns into something that controls you instead.

I understand that you feel it's entirely selfish.
Sometimes I feel selfish. But the thing is that I know how disappointing it is to some people, and don't think I don't think about that and see their faces any time I purge - because I do. It doesn't make me stop, because I can't, but it makes it hurt more.
I really don't want to debate this (further?) outside of PM though, at least for that section of it.

It's a mental illness, it's not rational in any form.

Anorexia simply means that you aren't eating. It can be due to a variety of mental illnesses or because of physical problems. Anorexia nervosa is the form of anorexia (the one commonly linked to OCD or anxiety) that most people are familiar with.

Sometimes when my chronic fatigue flares up, I go through times of severely depressed appetite. It's not really an eating disorder, but the end results are similar.

I used to be bulimic. Thankfully, I'm almost over it now. I've almost accepted my body, and I don't have the need to stuff myself as often as i used to.

In my case, it was pretty much a snowball effect. When I was 12/13, I was quite thin, but had round hips. Now that I think of it, it was nothing I could do anything about, it's my bone and muscle structure. But then it was different. I was depressed, and my mother kept telling me I was fat and I needed to lose weight. Note that I was 162 cm tall and weighed 43 kg. And so I took up fitness and started cutting off food. I hated any type of sports except rollerskating and I've always been the "comfort food" type. A dieting period usually lasted for about a week and was followed by heavy binge-eating, usually sweets and fatty food. The more I ate, the fatter, uglier and worthless I felt, and then I ate even more to feel better. In 2 years, i had gained 20 kg. That's about 45 pounds.

Now, it's OK. The therapy i've had for other problems helped me with my bulimia too, and I've lost about 5 kilos. I still don't have the willpower to go on an actual diet, and I don't think it would be good for me either. I still can't say i accept my body completely, but now I've learned to focus on the things I like about me. I love my face, my pinchable cheeks, my breasts, the shape of my legs and so on. i'm better now, and I believe that i'll be even better in a few years.

I, in my younger years was quite self-concsious about my body. Relates in part to being teased as a child and called fat. I became a bit obsessive.

I at one point about 4-5 years ago stopped eating much at all and weighed about 54kg at 178cm in height.

This was only for a short period however, and I quickly retained my normal eating habits. I don't think I was ever at a really dangerous stage.... But I think it was unhealthy, the stage I was at, I was quite thin.

The interesting thing is that I have barely any problems with self-consciousness now. I think it relates to having become so passionate about art; seeing beauty in all kinds of forms, doing life drawing, and just seeing the pure loveliness in the human form.

I am unsure if I had an eating disorder, but I have gone through phases in life where I was inordinately concerned about my weight and food.Cutting weight for sports puts both genders into an anorexic mentality(think wrestlers and boxers starving themselves to "make weight"). I have definitely been there and then maintained that mentality for vanity.
Do you have to have sub-normal weight to have anorexic behavior?or is that the only way other people notice something is amiss?
I have heard of anorexics over-exercizing as part of their disorder as well.
I have never weighed less than the low end of "normal" for my height but when all you do is obsess about working out,food and losing weight....
So, it just makes me wonder if that isn't a mild form of it, just like the way dancers live on half a green bean and over-exercise.

The DSM criteria are as follows:

Diagnostic Criteria for Anorexia Nervosa
The following is considered the "text book" definition of Anorexia Nervosa to assist doctors in making a clinical diagnosis... it is in no way representative of what a sufferer feels or experiences in living with the illness. It is important to note that you can still suffer from Anorexia even if one of the below signs is not present (also see the Signs and Symptoms section). In other words, if you think you have Anorexia, it's dangerous to read the diagnostic criteria and think "I don't have one of the symptoms, so I must not be Anorexic".

1. Refusal to maintain body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for age and height (e.g., weight loss leading to maintenance of body weight less than 85% of that expected; or failure to make expected weight gain during period of growth, leading to body weight less than 85% of that expected).
2. Intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, even though underweight.
3. Disturbance in the way in which one's body weight or shape is experienced, undue influence of body weight or shape on self-evaluation, or denial of the seriousness of the current low body weight.
4. In postmenarcheal females (women who have not yet gone through menopause), amenorrhea (the absence of at least three consecutive menstrual cycles).

* Restricting Type: during the current episode of Anorexia Nervosa, the person has not regularly engaged in binge-eating or purging behavior (i.e., self-induced vomiting or the misuse of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas)
* Binge-Eating Type or Purging Type: during the current episode of Anorexia Nervosa, the person has regularly engaged in binge-eating OR purging behavior (i.e., self-induced vomiting or the misuse of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas)

Diagnostic Criteria for Bulimia Nervosa
The following is considered the "text book" definition of Bulimia Nervosa to assist doctors in making a clinical diagnosis... it is in no way representative of what a sufferer feels or experiences in living with the illness. It is important to note that you can still suffer from Bulimia even if one of the below signs is not present (also see the Signs and Symptoms section). In other words, if you think you have Bulimia, it's dangerous to read the diagnostic criteria and think "I don't have one of the symptoms, so I must not be Bulimic".

1. Recurrent episodes of binge eating. An episode of binge eating is characterized by both of the following:
* eating, in a discrete period of time (e.g., within any 2-hour period), an amount of food that is definitely larger than most people would eat during a similar period of time and under similar circumstances
* a sense of lack of control over eating during the episode (e.g., a feeling that one cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating)
2. Recurrent inappropriate compensatory behavior in order to prevent weight gain, such as self-induced vomiting; misuse of laxatives, diuretics, enemas, or other medications; fasting; or excessive exercise.
3. The binge eating and inappropriate compensatory behaviors both occur, on average, at least twice a week for 3 months.
4. Self-evaluation is unduly influenced by body shape and weight.
5. The disturbance does not occur exclusively during episodes of Anorexia Nervosa.

* Purging Type: during the current episode of Bulimia Nervosa, the person has regularly engaged in self-induced vomiting or the misuse of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas
* Nonpurging Type: during the current episode of Bulimia Nervosa, the person has used other inappropriate compensatory behaviors, such as fasting or excessive exercise, but has not regularly engaged in self-induced vomiting or the misuse of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas

Diagnostic Criteria for ED-NOS
The following is considered the "text book" definition of an Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, to assist doctors in making a clinical diagnosis... it is in no way representative of what a sufferer feels or experiences in living with an Eating Disorder. It is important to note that this is a Clinical definition, and is in no way meant to say that any sufferer does not struggle, and that the condition is not serious. It is not meant to say you do not have Anorexia or Bulimia (or a combination of both sometimes known as Bulimirexia). This is a clinical category of disordered eating meant for those who suffer but do not meet all the diagnostic criteria for another specific disorder.

Examples Include:

1. All of the criteria for Anorexia Nervosa are met except the individual has regular menses.
2. All of the criteria for Anorexia Nervosa are met except that, despite substantial weight loss, the individual's current weight is in the normal range.
3. All of the criteria for Bulimia Nervosa are met except binges occur at a frequency of less than twice a week or for a duration of less than 3 months.
4. An individual of normal body weight who regularly engages in inappropriate compensatory behavior after eating small amounts of food (eg, self-induced vomiting after the consumption of two cookies).
5. An individual who repeatedly chews and spits out, but does not swallow, large amounts of food.
6. Binge eating disorder; recurrent episodes of binge eating in the absence of the regular use of inappropriate compensatory behaviors characteristic of bulimia nervosa.

(from something-fishy.org)

bulimic

I used to be bulimic. All that's left of it now is my addiction to chocolate, and the fact that when I've just eaten, my stomach now has this odd reflex of pushing up to a mouthful of food at a time back up. It's kind of embarrassing, because apparently it makes a noise that sounds like I'm choking or trying hard to gulp something down.

Anorexic, but not because I think skinniness is beautiful or healthy.

Disclaimer - I am not actually a goth... so I suppose that detracts from any stereotype there might be of eating disorders and gothiness being connected in some way....