I think it's perfectly reasonable to want to know what the actual circumstances of your daughter's episode were. There's a difference between a drug-induced episode, and a psychological breakdown. You'll be much better prepared to help if you know the specifics.

My thoughts are with you, Sandy, and I'm hoping for a good outcome for you.

Yikes, Ledge! I get migraines from time to time, too, but the longest I've ever had one was two days -- and that's bad enough. I can't imagine enduring a 3-day migraine. Do you know what your triggers are? It took me awhile to figure out my own triggers (had to keep a log), and I'm still working on it.

Sandy, I do NOT think you are asking too much! You definitely have a right to know what's going on with your daughter if you're to help her. Anyone who tells you differently is off base, if you ask me. Here's hoping things get sorted out.

-- Nephele

Legally probably, morally not at all. The question really is one of you daughter's ability to take care of herself and what position that leaves you in regarding guardianship or whatever it's called there. It's a shitty situation and I wish you the best dealing with it, whatever it turns out to be.

I applied for a job at Gamestop today... Since things are really tight here, I really hope I get this job...

SisterSandy: Personally, I think a psychotic break-down is much different than a drug induced state. It could mean the difference between a psych ward and rehab. It could also mean the difference between an accurate diagnosis and an inaccurate one... I think that drug testing should happen here because it is much better to know what is really going on... I think you have the right to know as well...

Thank you all for your replies. Legally I cannot insist on being informed because she is an adult but she has given permission for them to share info with us, with her present. The problem is the nurse insists a definite answer cant be given about the possibility of it being drug induced. We were informed that the ER blood tests is too general to rule out legitimate medications causing the positive result. PCP is used to have hallucinations, and does induce amnesia in some people. she is claiming to have lost at least 2 or 3 days of her week. but these are also the symptoms of a psychotic break......so no definite answer there.

even the nurse has told her she would be better off living in an assisted living arrangement, and she agreed that they could look for a placement for her. Her son turned 18 and left the home as soon as he could. He put up with all of this for too long, and is trying to start his own life in a more stable situation. So she is all alone and is returning to her old friends, the ones she was abusing drugs with.

she can be very manipulative, most addicts can. She has been in the mental health system so long she knows what all the right answers are to the important questions. She has told me before that my father and mother are with her all the time. (They are both dead by the way) and that various other people pop in on her. She says she can control seeing them.

This all worries me so, if she continues in this way I see only bad things down the road. She also insists she is taking very minimal pain pills for her medical conditions. But she argued that oxycodone is NOT the same as oxycontin. According to all the research I did it is just not the time released form, but is the identical drug. highly addictive, have no idea why someone would prescribe this to a person with addiction problems.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. hopefully something will change for the better

Today, I have become more depressed than I ever have been in my entire life.

Though I know I do not ache near so much as my poor partner...

Her cat, named simply C.T. (for her cute curly tail), has been with her since her earliest memories when she was three years old. This cat...has always been there through all 23 years of her life. But for a cat to be so old...

Sure, she was senile. But she was still very active and alert, and a very sweet kitty for one that was 20 years old. She had dementia not long after I began to know her, and would become very upset if no one from the family or myself was within eyeshot. Or she may simply stare at a wall and wail in confusion.

But as I said, she was very active and vocal, running about and meowing for anything a cat meows for. She was always in the room with the most people, usually my partner and I, and would love to give and get attention. Or sit in our lap, or at our feet. The point is, she was always present. My partner used to say she was a part of the furniture. Our old couch has a duvet in the cushion from where CT would always lay.

But...she got sick. About a month ago. We still don't even know what from. But her eye became infected and bloody, it would weep tears and mucus. She began congested in her sinuses and sneezed a lot, and she was no longer active any more. She would prefer to lay in one spot almost the entire day. She was so...tired...we could not afford to take her to the vet. She became blind in her eye from the damage it suffered. It still would occasionally become bloody and weep, despite all of the care we could do ourselves.

But she got a little better...then worse. We don't know why, but her walking became awkward like she had balance issues. Then it got to the point where she could barely walk. Then it got to the point where she began stumbling, and finally she could no longer even hold herself up. She simply slumped to the ground or fell over. We had to hold her while she ate, drank, or went to the bathroom. She had to be carried everywhere. Even in a situation of obvious discomfort she could not drag herself from wherever she lay. It began to seem like she was losing strength in her front legs too. She began to shake, and her weight plummeted fast. She became backed up, there was nothing in her litter box. Her once loud and vocal meowing became weak, plaintive mews that you could hardly hear.

But still we vowed to care for this sweet animal who loved her people more than anything. Until today. We were going to go camping and leave her in the dubious care of my partner's father. But as my partner and I awoke at 5 am and opened the bathroom to take her out, we found she had reached the point where she was soiling herself. Her plaintive mews had reached the point of sounding distressed. Her eye was getting worse, and she was starting to drag her front feet.

We finally decided her quality of life was not good and put her down today...

My partner could not bear to go, not after being present for the shot for her dog she cared for for 13 years. So I went. And I gave her all the love and attention I could before the end. The last sound she ever made was a long, drawn out mreow of discomfort. I watched the light disappear from her eyes...and felt a part of me just...die. I loved that cat so much for the few years I had with her...my partner is destroyed. She cannot remember the cat never being there...and now she's gone. Buried in our back yard with a stone cairn.

The house is eerily quiet now...without the cat's vocalizations.

I try my best to comfort my partner. But I cannot hope to patch the rend in her life and soul this is.

She told me before bed that C.T. was the last tangible, living thing from her childhood.

It is childish of me, to wish the cat could live forever and to hate death for what it is.

The cat brought us wonderful memories and will live on in us...we still love and cherish her. Always will.

We will try to cope as best we can...

R.I.P. "C.T." 1992-2012

It is a full moon, on the night of her death.

SisterSandy, I hope things get better for you. Sounds like things have been pretty tough.

Oidhche-Yorath, *hugs* I'm sorry for your partner and your loss. Losing a kitty is always hard. If you want, I'm here for you.

Good luck, Alucard! I hope you get the job!

-- Tue Jul 03, 2012 6:58 am --

I send hugs to all those who need them. You're all in my thoughts. <3

20 years is an amazingly good run for a moggy. Not that it helps much now that she's gone. It's terrible that you had to put her down, but it was the right choice. There's nothing morea heartbreaking than a scared sick cat.

Necromantic_Lovely: Thank you so much, Necromantic_Lovely! Hopefully I will.

SisterSandy: I really hope things will start to look better soon...

Oidhche-Yorath: I'm sorry to hear about the cat... It is always tough to lose a good friend like C.T., but at least it lived a long happy life. I wish the best for you and your partner...

Well, seeing Slayer on saturday was crazy, but it was pretty cool. If you ever wanted to know what hell was like, go to a slayer show. The crowds were meh (people getting beat up for no reason, people in the front pit setting shirts on fire and swinging them, and other people setting fires to mosh around), but the band was pretty awesome.

I think my current trigger is hormones. I'm edging into menopause territory, and it seems to be making my headaches worse than usual. I missed a fun afternoon on my brother-in-law's boat because of it.

Why is that the only person who don't care about my way of seeing things and my way of dress, and the only person I wanted to date live in the other side of the Atlantic Ocean? --"

Well, you list Portugal as your current location and maybe that's to do with it. I don't know much about Portugal, but judging from pictures alone it'd make a great city for Anne Rice's vampires to hang out in. I see the charm and beauty of the country, but I don't consider it to be a real "goth" hub. While goth is world-wide, I find that I'd see more goths in North America, U.K., or Germany than anywhere else. Japan gets an honourable mention as well.

I'm sure there's plenty of Europeans that would adore you.

Starting in Évora, whose city is inside a wall, crossing Mosteiro dos Jerónimos in Lisbon (it's ancient, but beautiful) and ending Serra de Sintra, famous due to ghost stories, it's a place that appeals to almost everyone...anyway, it would be more easy to go to England (where I have family) or Brazil (where I will have family soon, I hope)