There's this moderator on a forum I've been posting to (infrequently) for about ten years. He clearly has a problem with me and is clearly abusing his status on that forum in order to bully me. The worst part is: Many regular users see it, have even called it out in my defence (without me asking this of them, and I wouldn't call him out myself, just cos I know that's pretty much going to translate to "Please sir, I'd like some more!"), but the other moderators and the Admins just throw up their hands and saying "well, he says he isn't doing it, so there's nothing we can do to make it stop".

And naturally, my visits to that forum have become more and more infrequent, and one of these days I'm just never going to go back there in spite of the fact that I'm generally well-liked there and occasionally some-one there will e-mail me to tell me that they miss my posts or something. This one guy is making it impossible for me to enjoy that forum, and nobody there in any sort of power cares enough to make it stop.

Sorry --just had to vent.

I'd just troll the dude.

Hi, FIB!
Hang in there! I'm going through sort of the same thing on Deviant Art right now with my writing. I submitted to a group and they declined so I asked why. I received one answer, then two, now three from admins, when I only needed one reply. Each reply made me feel worse and worse, so I blocked the last guy, yet he was STILL able to send me a note with a comeback, after I told him I don't want anymore messages from him or his group, because he said I have a weak command of words and language, when being published says otherwise.

So, hang in there,and don't let dipshits bother you.

Great idea, except this guy knows what he's doing, and is smart enough to figure out when some-one is skirting the rules to goad some-one --yet he clearly uses his position to skirt the rules to goad every-one who just kind of annoys him. I'm not the only person he has this kind of problem with, I just seem to be the one he's done this to the longest, and the one who doesn't normally shy away from his bullshit when it's in the middle of the room --and I've actually gotten sanctions on that forum for calling him out on bullying myself and others.

I've been on that forum longer than he's been a moderator, actually, but the rest of the moderation/administration team doesn't care, and refuses to take any recent (as in, the last three years) or deep past board history (between six and ten/eleven years ago) into consideration --only this inexplicable rift with him, and an eighteen months long flame-war with one other user who got banned from there 2-3 years ago.



Thanks. [hugs]

You're welcome! *hugs back

I don't know what kind of emotional investment you have in that forum or what the topic is, but it sounds like it'd be easy to go out with a bang. Couldn't hurt to post random links on 4chan either.

Oh man... That sounds absolutely terrible... I really hate people like that. I don't know what to say...What goes around comes around... I'm sure this person will get their own... Just hang tough and try not to let it get to you. I really hope the situation gets better...

Well, there are still a lot of fairly nice people I don't want to look bad in front of, and plus my house-mate is gaming buddies with one of the other moderators --who, due to moderation team expectations, isn't jumping in to my aid because of what others might assume to be a "conflict of interest" (seriously, the politics of that forum make the United States' 2004 Republican Veep nomination make perfect political sense). I'd rather just silently bow out (at least until he finally gets his --whether it means the Admins on the forum finally get wise to his crap after years of pulling the wool over their own eyes, or whether it means he finally pisses off the wrong person and they, I dunno, get a fat inheritance and buy the forum from the company that owns it just so they can demote him) if it gets to the point I can't deal with his crap any-more. The less I do, the worse he looks, I figure.


Thanks. And like I've said, this would all make sense if I could think of anything I might have done --his problem with me also clearly began before that flame-war I mentioned, he just found that to be the prime moment to be more explicit in his bullying-and-"moderation", but there are clear examples of him bullying myself and others before that. I mean, I'm an obnoxious know-it-all who can barely figure out when he should shut up, but in all honesty, this guy seemed to have a problem with me completely outside of that --of course, he's kind of an obnoxious know-it-all, himself, so for all I know, he might just think I'm a threat to his presumed status of Knows Everything About Everything.

Facebook can be really petty... Just came across several petty pages, one of which where people are absolutely horrified by dead baby jokes. They're just jokes; it's not as if anything is meant by them, they aren't told just to spite people. I can understand people objecting to them, but creating a page to ban people who crack dead baby jokes? That's being a tad petty... If people could just learn to ignore jokes and petty comments...

Perhaps Facebook feels that some people might find those jokes offensive, and that dead baby jokes may become even more offensive. So they have taken the hard line of banning people who crack those jokes, so as to uphold decency . My take on this is, we may have the freedom to post what we feel is worthy of posting, but this freedom has to come with a sense of responsibility so as not to cause offence to others. I like to think this website is quite liberal about the views of Goths, within reason of course as everything has a limit. Well this is my view anyway, I hope it makes sense.

Currently attempting to come up with a new solution to the problem thus:

It's political season. Again. Yay. Let's all stomp all over each other with our words.

I'm a very neutral man. I only care about the facts, and I only care about what I agree with. No parties, no absurdities, no mud-slinging. It's all just so many distractions from the clear path.

The problem is my partner and I live with a kind of person...I don't recall the word for it. It's a person addicted to the news, constantly listening to it while reading other news at the same time all day every day. This person is also a self-proclaimed "Right-wing nutjob" and proud of it. This person worships Rush Limbaugh's every word, never doubts him and parrots his phrases to anyone who will or won't listen. It's a lot of very childish behavior without going further into detail.

What I am attempting to solve is how to deal with this until elections are over, which is quite some time. With my being jobless right now, it is impossible to get away from this. I cannot express disagreement with anything to this person, even in the most neutral of ways, for surely it must be a personal challenge or insult.

So far, staying silent and pretending the fans are too loud to hear is the only solution, but that feels terrible to do. My partner is not so reserved as I, and I grow weary of the arguing. I do not like the effect the talk radio playing constantly has, I fear it spreads ignorance to my partner and incites a lack of research before opinion.

What to do.

"I heard it and I agree totally thus no further discussion is required."

My favorite uncle (who bore a striking resemblance to Larry David in both appearance and mannerisms), used to politely say something VERY like that when confronted with tiresomely argumentative people.

It was pretty funny, because everyone in the family knew that was code for: "You schmuck, like I should give a fuck what you think?" (Which is also something my uncle would say, when he wasn't feeling quite so polite.)

-- Nephele

Yeah. Sometimes people act out when others are a threat. A petty form of self-defense if you ask me. And abusing power is just a pathetic thing to do. What a total jerk. I'm not sure if this is any help but try not to let him get the best of you. If you want to visit that forum, then visit it and ignore him. If you can't stand it then don't. But he is not worth losing sleep over. Well, you have my best wishes with all that. Hopefully it'll all get better. Anyway, you're welcome!

So the past few days I've been at the hospital with my Dad because he had another stroke. I was able to bring him home today and he's doing better. Also this week my ex and I have been finalizing the odds and ends of our divorce for when we have the money to do it. He's been moving into his new place and both of us are much better off and happier now. He's even started dating already, which is good for him.

I finally (after months of separation) posted that I was single again and was interested in women (what can I say?) and my sister gave me the religious talking down to, telling me that I had better not bring women to my dad's house.

I found it quite wrong of her to say. She said he didn't need those problems and as his caregiver his comfort level was suppose to me by main concern in life and I need to keep my girlfriends away from his house. Now, I love my Dad and I'm taking care of him. But his happiness, desires, etc... are not my sole purpose in life- I also have my kids to look after too.

But just because I have kids and am caring for my dad does not mean I cannot date or be with people. Besides, I pay my rent here with my hard work (cooking, cleaning, caring, paying bills, etc...) I think I've earned the right to say this is my house to and if I want to bring a girlfriend here I damned well will.

Did I mention my Dad thinks is awesome that I'm bisexual? Yeah...

He's recovering from his stroke well and I'm not telling him about the confrontation with my sister, he doesn't need that stress. He's recovering from this latest stroke rather well and in good humor. I'm surprised.