Constructive critisism is appreciated!

Long black hair like the feathers of a raven
A darkened brown were her eyes
A deathly pallor, skin oh-so clear
Each feature of immaculate size

A Gothic beauty from hair to boots
Intelligence at its best
Manners towards everyone, she had
Even kind toward a many pest

Yet the beautiful lady was killed so young
She was stabbed three times in the heart
Of her blood she was eviscerated
With her body her soul did part

The lifeless corpse was placed in a tomb
Tomb placed in the ground
On top went the stone, a dark gray grave
With flat sides and a top round

On it her name was inscribed so deep
Her date of birth and date of death
And those she loved threw flowers for her
From amaranth to baby's breath

This stone began polished and new
Was catered to every day
The bushes were trimmed every month
It was loved in every way

But after years the stone was forgotten
The age began to show
No more flowers were placed at its foot
The bushes would grow and grow

Pieces were braking off the top
And cracks were forming too
It was barely visible beneath the leaves
It certainly was no longer new

One night a young woman visited the graveyard
Sat among the shrubs to read
She felt something cool upon her back
'Twas a grave among the weed!

Within this old stone she found immense beauty
She loved it with all her might
The crumbling, the cracks, the eclipsed location
She oathed to visit it every night

And visit it she always did
Whether rain or moonshine
Trim the shrubs she did not
For to her it looked fine, just fine...

Forgotten Tomb
Graveyard Oath
Not sure what else. Not good at names here.

"Pieces were braking off the top
And cracks were forming too
It was barely visible beneath the leaves
It certainly was no longer new"

I think this bit could use some work. I'm not really a poet, so I'm not sure what you could do to it, but it doesn't seem up to the quality of the rest of it.

Good work though.

Very good!

Does the girl have a name? That would work nicely for a title.

Thank you!
No, she does not... But you are right! Though I came up with "Eclipsed Beauty"... How does that sound?

I indeed agree, I thought this part sounded a bit funny as well. Thank you for the constructive critisism!

I still think you should put a girl's name in there someplace. Eclipsed Beauty reminds me too much of Twilight... *shudder*

Is this going to be continued?

This is good so far, I think. I have 3 things for you:

1. "Eviscerated" means to remove the viscera, that is, to disembowel someone. Blood isn't eviscerated, it's drained. You might replace "eviscerated" with "exsanguinated" or work along those lines.

2. I agree with Dante on working with the stanza that begins, "Pieces were braking off the top." Maybe throw us a clearer picture of the untended gravestone.

You also want to spell "braking" as "breaking" unless she's slowing her truck down on the interstate. Those pesky homonyms!

3. For a title, and this is my approach to giving people information in a way that seems cryptic but really isn't, if this is an actual grave somewhere, find the co-ordinates on the cemetery map (like A-200) and have that be the name of the poem. Or you might look at the words on the tombstone and use part of a word that isn't covered by foliage....something that can be made into another word, like "Zardoz" is "Wizard of Oz" with some letters obscured.

Hm, alright... Though I must think of a name for her!
And true... *shudders as well*

And thank you very much, Lachrymose!

What about "Gone, but Not Forgotten" ?

Hm, I like that... Maybe! Thank you.

How about "The Grave of Elizabeth"? That is what I decided to call it.

How about "One girl's trash is another girl's treasure" ?

Hm... Nice concept, but I think I'll stick with "The Grave of Elizabeth". But thank you very much! (You were just a tad late.. )

Damn it!

Lol XD