Granted. They'll catch fire in the process and burn down the house.

I wish that my running wouldn't result in my getting injured.

-- Wed Jan 05, 2011 9:14 pm --


entitled "To Serve Hippies"

Granted. But now you're identified as a unique athlete, and are required to train 16 hours a day to join the US Olympic marathon team.

I wish quiche was tastier.

Granted. Now it's poisonous.

I wish I had some sort of talent

Granted. Have fun being a part of a Sideshow.

I wish they would make sequels when sequels are obviously needed.

Granted. "Bible II: The Fun Bits" just popped into existence.

I wish I could control my sense of humour.

Granted. Working as a telephone commutator may help.

I wish I was a gay fish (wtf?)

Granted, but you will be harassed by christian fish for the rest of your life.

I wish I had multiple rows of teeth like a shark.

Granted. But they're all in need of fillings so you're spending the rest of your life at the dentist, I'm afraid.

I wish I could speak all the languages in the world.

Granted. But after one day, you'd become a mute.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

Granted. It is now your most fervent desire to own a pair of lederhosen, a little bushy beard and be known as "Johann".

I wish I knew what to cook for supper.

Granted. At the royal court they know what to demand from their slaves.

I wish I had the chance to hang around with Mr. Bungle (the band), while they are not drunk

Granted. You are now inextricably bound to Warner Brothers records for all your future creative endeavors, at any time(s) the members of Mr. Bungle are not drunk. Unfortunately for you, they've all recently joined AA.

I wish I had actually *learned* Latin.

Granted. Enjoy your lifetime as a slave in the Dark Ages

I wish I had a house made of candies like in Hanzel and Gretyl

Granted. Enjoy being the charcoal flavored candy!

I wish I weren't so tired.

Granted, but now your strung out on coke and shooting junk between your toes.

I wish for peace on earth.