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 The Moment--or Culmination of Moments--That Made You Goth 
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Maladomini
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Post The Moment--or Culmination of Moments--That Made You Goth
When did you first realize it, when did you make the first conscious decision to be so, and by what series of steps did you slowly [or precipitately, for that matter] enter the sub-culture?

What was the reaction of your friends, your family? How did you handle it?


How long did the 'transformation' [for lack of a better term] take? Were you resisitant or did you just plunge in head first?


Sun Apr 04, 2010 1:14 pm
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Nessus
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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
Honestly, I never had a "ZOMG I want to be goth" moment. I just fell into it since my bff listened to the "new wave" stuff that was the goth of the 80s and we didn't really call it goth. We were "wavers" for lack of a better term. Then I slowly started omitting color from my wardrobe and started dying my hair black. I guess it took about a year between listening to the music for the first time and looking the part.

Only reaction I ever got was my mom telling me if that I wasn't going to get clothes that weren't black she wasn't going to pay for them anymore - so I got a job.

~spidey

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Sun Apr 04, 2010 1:25 pm
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Phlegethos
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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
I liked the style all through highschool, but there were no goths there at all. Only later, when I was about 18, did I start to develop my own sense of style and taste for music, and I turned into the typical baby bat :lol: 6 years hence, the style still appeals to me, and I've discovered a hell of a lot of fantastic musicians, movies, artists that made a lasting appeal. I guess you could say I've had a continuous love affair with the style and atmosphere from that moment. Frankly, what made me actually dress up and "transform" initially isn't a very flattering or cheerful ordeal, but maybe it had to happen eventually anyway. My parents and employer weren't very happy with it.

As for the time, it actually took quite a while... maybe a year. Buying only things that had skulls in them, stuka pants, dying my hair, buying tons of jewelry, collars, getting my eyebrow and lip pierced (wannabe-dani labret), collars, trenchcoat, boots... I even read manson's autobiography, listened to nothing but his music, COF, children of bodom, coal chamber, korn, epica... ahh memories, makes me smile :lol: Not that it's actually that long ago come to think of it. Not much later I started doing volunteer work at a local metal cafe/batcave, where I made alot of acquintances and got to know a great deal of music. I started listening to other bands, like the cure, mephisto walz, siouxsie and the banshees... and getting a bit obsessed with Lovecraft. I had a short cybergoth episode... then neofolk, dark ambient and today, it's the wave varieties that appeal to me most.

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Sun Apr 04, 2010 2:47 pm
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Cocky Canard
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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
1985, I was 18. Mostly into metal (Rush rather than Maiden kind of person) but immersed in the new romantic end electronica of the time, it was all new and different. The Bauhaus Compilation album (1979–1983) set me on the road. I think I have said before it was a time of doom and gloom, nuclear threats and high unemployment, a gray world splotched with bright pop culture.

-LS

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Sun Apr 04, 2010 3:08 pm
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Malbolge
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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
Huh? I'm goth?!

Kidding. I've always been morbid always liked black yadda yadda. I finally got the guts to dress how I liked when I was 20 and haven't looked back (a year or so before my mother bought me a Cleopatra CD and I fell in love with Black Tape; that's when I learned goth was more than clothes and happily joined in the fun). Does that count? My mother was worried, but now she doesn't care. She's become more open-minded since teaching junior high. My dad teased me all the time, but it was good natured, and now it doesn't seem to bother him. ;)

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Sun Apr 04, 2010 5:38 pm
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Minauros
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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
Well, I neve had a moment where I suddenly just said "Know what? I should be goth!"
I remember when I was about eleven, I just started middle school. I used to go to a private school, and I was very naive and shy. Upon my first days there, a small group of people came up to me and asked if I wanted to hang out. They were in the eighth grade, and the leader was a goth. She seemed really friendly and outspoken, but I never knew or saw any goths before, so I was kinda scared of her. After a little bit though, we became friends, but then I moved. I was only at the school for like three months.
By ages twelve and thirteen, I had a really hard time figuring out who I was, where I was supposed to fit in the world, ect. My grandparents must have known something I didn't, because they always bought me Tim Burton movies and black clothing, saying that they would be things I might really like. Then when I first fourteen, I just slowly and naturally grown to wear black, and only a few times did I wear black makeup. It just grew to me, along with my adoration for the gothic subculture. I've always been a very artistic person, and always had intrests in the more "darker" things.

Maybe I'm goth, maybe I'm really not. I'm just being me. :wink:

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Sun Apr 04, 2010 5:46 pm
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GAF
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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
I never had an epiphany moment.

It just started with the music, for me. Since I first joined the subculture I've actually learned and grown quite a bit. It was people in the Goth subculture that first opened my eyes to my own ignorance and narrow-mindedness. I have a lot to thank this subculture and its members for.

I kinda view being a Goth as swimming in a deep, dark ocean. Sometimes swimming on the surface, sometimes the dark depths. Mostly in between the two mingling with my fellow dark creatures as we explore the vastness together. It sounds silly, but that's my take on it.

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Sun Apr 04, 2010 7:37 pm
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Cania

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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
I can't say I had an epiphany moment because I'm still kind of stuck in the starter stage "Baby Bat" I'm not GAF or any thing and I don't expect myself to be ,but I don't feel that I've changed much from when I was a kid really and I feel stuck in baby bat territory. I'm not wearing Tripp pants and listening to NIN or anything. But the feeling is there.

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Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:34 am
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Cania
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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
I have always worn black clothing more than anything else. As far back as I can remember anyway. Before I was old enough to buy my own clothes, every time my mom or anyone else got me something I thought to be an ugly color like khaki I would just stash it away deep in my closet, under my bed, anywhere until I outgrew it. I did fit a lot of the stereotypes when I was little; I was hanging out in cemeteries by 5, was a loner/rarely had more than two friends, I think a fair share of my classmates were afraid of me [the rest thought I was strange and so I was singled out for bullies].

Yet, when people would ask the tween-version of me if I were goth, usually I would just laugh at them and say "you're just saying that because I wear black all the time" or something like that. I am pretty sure I never considered myself anything other than strange when I was little.

It probably didn't help either that a few of my relatives (who I didn't really know) were goths (either by their own words or the words of relatives I did know well who talked about them). In any case, I got a lot of "oh you're just trying to be like your cousin(s) ____" which would always drive me up the wall, especially since these were relatives I barely knew when I knew them at all. One of these relatives was involved in one of those high profile "goth murders" -but I didn't know that at the time [and didn't until very recently actually], I think my family intentionally kept me out of the loop on that part of things. Anyhow, so I would always put on some kind of melodramatic protest every time the subject came up, even with strangers, until eventually I gave that up as futile. Sometime right around when I was starting college I slowly began to realize that no one was really buying it, it seemed to be part of my reputation among professors and the classmates I didn't even talk to, and a fair share of my favorite bands (then and now) were in the genres, so it was more of a throwing my hands up in the air "ok, ok, just shutup already- I get it, now leave me alone" moment than an epiphany.

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Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:00 am
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Manisha
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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
I think the gothic atmosphere has always appealed to me. When in high school I loved the look, but had no idea about the culture (or that there was a music- I was very sheltered. I was so sheltered that I did not know any music except counry existed until my teen years- and even after that it took a while to understand there were so many genres).

Anyway I seen other people dressing alternitively and i loved the style and came to really like the gothc style- espeically the medival/ renessience and romanti and victorian styles. I fell in love with corset shirts. From the moment I found 'alternitive' clothing, it was all I wore.

When in school, people often called me gothic and I had no idea what it meant- and quite frankly I did not care as I would rather read a book than to learn about what people were discussing. I had just figured it meant a person who liked to dress differently and left it at that.

Then I met my husband, and a year later we married. My husband knew about my love of dark clothing and subjects. It was like a hobby of mine, but the dress was moderate, and no make up at all. The most I wore was black nail polish. This was mostly out of respect for my grandprents, since they were very conservitive. My clothes, though gothy was very moderate, and no make up. So when I married, i stayed like that out of habit. You cannot miss what you never did, i guess.

Then my husband, for Christmas, filled my stocking full of back lipstick, nail polish, liguid eyeliner and told me that if I wanted to be Goth, i might as well go all out and not do it half way.

So I researched it, realized the truth behind it and was fasinated. I started listeing to the music, and soon I started to prefer it to the rock/ altern. that I was listening to.

And that is how Midieval Fantasy came to be.

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Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:27 am
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Stygia
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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
When I got The Sister's of Mercy's Floodland in the mail. (I also got Burn Out at the Hydrogen Bar by Chemlab and Hau Ruck by KMFDM but those aren't goth bands). It was slow process of me getting accimilated to the music mostly through satellite radio but buying my first goth cd was what really did it. It was a big deal at the time as it was the first time I really listened to music that had non-distorted guitars in it.


Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:16 pm
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Malbolge
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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
I was always a little off, coming up, and always a little too into the dark, but remained popular by being the 'funny' guy in the group. But then there was definitely a moment when everything changed.

Friend of a friend was this "strange chick". Brilliant would have been a better name, but anyway...

I end up hanging out with her all night at the club, and talking and dancing turned into us going out, dating, whatever the kids call it now. So here I am with my bon jovi and bryan adams on the radio, picking this amazing girl up and taking her out. She finally just pulls a cassette out of her bag, and says "Take this home and listen to it, and we'll talk tomorrow."

That was Disintegration, by the Cure. Changed my taste in music instantly, and led me to a subculture where I finally felt like I fit without trying.

Funny, considering the same girl took me to rocky horror, which years later I ended up involved in, considering I wound up doing tarot readings for a living, writing goth fiction, so much of who I became was contingent on that one girl, that one summer.

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Tue Apr 06, 2010 7:35 am
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Maladomini
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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
I have posted my own epiphany on the board a few times I think, but I suppose its worth repeating.

While growing up I had a huge fear of all things dark, scary and mysterious, I always found much of that stuff fascinating and when I got to my middle school years, I used to steal away to the library, intentionally skipping gym class (which I have always hated for many reasons) to go and read anything and everything I could get my hands on. The books which really caught my eye and made me turn to the dark side and never look back were ones on paranormal happenings, strange creatures, UFOs, and alien encounters. Whether they were all true or not really interested me and the interest only grew as I got older. Also, when I got into my creative adult years, the monsters that used to frighten me I started creating myself, which not only eased my fear of them but made them my 'friends' so to speak. Following that was an appreciation for all dark and morbid imagery and the purposes behind it. And it was only natural that I would follow suit with the music, much of it dirgelike and in D minor, or just plain romantic (such as my classical tastes).

There were many little moments too, but those are the biggest ones above.

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Tue Apr 06, 2010 8:40 am
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GAF
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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
hideous wrote:
I was always a little off, coming up, and always a little too into the dark, but remained popular by being the 'funny' guy in the group. But then there was definitely a moment when everything changed.

Friend of a friend was this "strange chick". Brilliant would have been a better name, but anyway...

I end up hanging out with her all night at the club, and talking and dancing turned into us going out, dating, whatever the kids call it now. So here I am with my bon jovi and bryan adams on the radio, picking this amazing girl up and taking her out. She finally just pulls a cassette out of her bag, and says "Take this home and listen to it, and we'll talk tomorrow."

That was Disintegration, by the Cure. Changed my taste in music instantly, and led me to a subculture where I finally felt like I fit without trying.

Funny, considering the same girl took me to rocky horror, which years later I ended up involved in, considering I wound up doing tarot readings for a living, writing goth fiction, so much of who I became was contingent on that one girl, that one summer.


My 'gateway band' was Type O Negative, specifically October Rust. Everyone I knew already owned Bloody Kisses, but listening to October Rust gave me a whole new perspective on them and I decided that I actually liked their sound. Then I started listening to The Sisters, Siouxsie, Christian Death & Skinny Puppy.

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Tue Apr 06, 2010 11:52 am
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Dr. Strangeduck
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Post Re: The Moment--or Cumination of Moments--That Made You Goth
Probably similar to others here as far as taste in music, art, movies...
although a big factor is my discovery that my oddball humor appears to fit in around here (and is appreciated by Goth friends elsewhere) :D One of the funniest people I know turned out to be Goth (oddly enough I never realized she was Goth until recently - I just never thought of the label).

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Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:03 pm
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