I've kind of always liked the darker side of things, having been exposed to it by my parents. My mum's into horror novels and films. My dad loves The Cure. I remember watching horror movies with my mum and listening to The Cure with my dad when I was little.

I became interested in gothic rock in high school because I was looking for music similar to The Cure, but apart from The Cure and Joy Division, I didn't really get into gothic rock and post-punk until about a year ago. I knew the bands and history of the scene before that, but I was more interested in the more mainstream goth-influenced music. I was into whatever sounded the darkest, and gothic rock was only a small part of what I listened to. My friends in high school were into the whole emo thing (yeah, I know), so I listened to some of that music because they did. It eventually got on my nerves (after only a few months), and I discovered that I preferred more substantial and talented bands like The Cure (and later, The Sisters of Mercy).

When I started wearing black, all my mum said was "Oh, I used to wear black clothes and fishnets a lot when I was your age." So my parents were never against me being interested in dark and morbid things. They kinda encouraged it, as long as I was happy.

I really got into goth when I discovered the variety of bands beyond Joy Division and The Cure. I fell in love with the second wave style of gothic rock, bands like The Sisters of Mercy, Fields of the Nephilim, and The Mission. I still like music that isn't goth, and I look pretty normal, though most of my clothes are black.

I grew up in a very small isolated city and was a bit scared of goths. They were all very insular and superior and walked around with lots of white makeup which would drip off their faces in the heat. I wore all black, took too many drugs and had lots of angst, but I definitely wasn't a goth.

Then I moved to a bigger, broader city. All of a sudden goths were fingering me as a goth. I actually couldn't work out what was happening at first. I'd be walking along the streets and I'd get the Goth Nod (a bit like the lesbian nod, which I've never had directed at me, only it was directed at me and it was from goths!). I realised I lived in an area populated by goths, all my friends turned out to be goths and one day, I discovered that all my favourite music was um... goth!

Bizarre.

I still wasn't goth though, well not until I finally allowed myself to be dragged off to a goth club. Finally everything fell into place. I liked goths. I felt comfortable around goths. I had things to talk about with goths as they understood me! It was like 'coming out' all over again, only as a goth.

Now I'm generally well accepted among all of my friends as the token goth (as opposed to an emo, a term which I still don't totally understand). I haven't been to a goth club in years, I sometimes don't even wear black and the last time I told someone I had pet rats she said 'Oh, were you a medical student?'. But the moment I realised I was goth was still quite a significant moment in my life.

The 'Goth Nod': man, that's hilarious! It's almost like what Stilicho jokingly said about the secret Goth Handshake!

This post also brings up the existence of Goth Neighborhoods, or even Goth Ghettos!

ARE there actually such things?

That's basically how it was for me back in the '80s. I'm sure it was different in the big subculture centers such as London, LA, etc. but here in the South, I never heard people referred to as "goths" until the early 1990's. In the early '80s, we were listening to Punk and New Wave, and considered ourselves to be New Wavers, we just listened to darker stuff than the "poppy" New Wave, not realizing it was separate. It was all "alternative" to the mainstream (when the term actually meant something). Punks, New Wavers, and even neo-hippies all sort of hung out listening to much the same music, and that was how we defined ourselves. If you saw somebody wearing a Ramones or a Joy Division t-shirt, you knew they were one of you. There wasn't the "gloom and doom" slash-my-wrists thing, either. It was campy and fun.
I had no conscious moment of realization, so to speak. I just hung out with people who liked the same music and went to the same shows and clubs. In the late '80s in South Florida, you would see a smattering of Vampire types, almost-Punk people, and New Wavers in the same clubs.
The closest thing to an epiphany was possibly sometime in the mid 90's when I was a Teen Volunteer Coordinator at a large library. I brought in a bunch of my CD's for a program, in case no one brought enough music. A teen girl was looking through my CD's and she suddenly exclaimed "Are these YOUR Cd's??" I said yes and she cried "I don't believe it! Mr. ____, you're a Goth?!"

Seriously! Its when you're walking along and someone recognises that you are one of them. They catch your eye and slightly nod their head, sometimes even smile. I was already familiar with the 'nod' as its what lesbians do when they pass each other on the street (but only if you look like a lesbian ).

I did wonder if maybe it was an Australian thing, but no. I was brand new to London, wearing Blue (as I'd been asked not to wear too much black to work) and a bunch of baby-goths jumped onto the train, saw me and gave me the nod as they walked past!*

Ah, happy happy days

In South Florida, Babybats typically snub older Goths. They seem to think this gives them some sort of "scene creds". Even when I knew a Babybat from the Library or the Ren Faires, when I saw them at shows or clubs (once they turned 18) they would do the Big Snub. The only exceptions were when they would run into me at a show or night I was co-sponsoring, then they had an "oh shit" look.
I used to give Babybats rides to shows, got them into events, or paid their cover just out of solidarity, but after a point I pretty much stopped trying to be sociable to them at all. Then you heard them whine about how the big bad elders mistreated them. Oh well. Live by the sword, die by the sword....
Only twice over the years did Babybats act sociable in public. Once outside of Borders in Coral Springs when a guy asked me where I got my leather trench coat; and once in the Library when a girl recognized my Gothic Alchemy ring.

I started wearing bondage pants because I liked them and was labeled Goth. Curiosity consumed me and I began to research into what exactly it meant to be Goth and began experimenting with the music. As I experimented with the music I fell in love with it and the more I learned about the Gothic subculture I began to realize that I am Goth. In other words it was pointed out to me that I was although I had no clue.

I got one of those nods tonight; it was kinda good. Affirming, even.

I never consciously realized I did that until I read tak tik's post! Funny the shit we do without even thinking about it.

I haven't had any trouble when I've encountered Baby Bats in public. Normally they're very nice. They either smile at me and nod, getting the same in return, or they walk up and ask what brand of hair dye I use, where I got my boots/jewelry/makeup. They're sweet so I don't have a problem talking to them. I actually fell kind of protective over the youngins.

Newcomer here. I suppose I'll add to the moment that made me goth. It wasn't a particularly exciting moment, but it was when I listened to Bela Lugosi's Dead from Bauhaus. Before then, I had only listened to Gutter Glitter by Switchblade Sympathy. However, once I listened to Bela Lugosi's Dead I immediately fell in love with the song. From there, I proceeded to expand my tastes and listen to more Gothic Rock/Deathrock/Gothabilly and Darkwave Bands.

Bands I began listening to from there are:Sisters of Mercy, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Alien Sex Fiend, Specimen, Christain Death, Fields of the Nephilim and The Mission etc. I quickly found myself becoming a fanatic of the music. Shortly after, I began avidly listening to songs by those bands on a daily basis for hours nonstop. Even to this day, I am still finding new bands I enjoy. Since then, I haven't had any second thoughts. Not once. As for the clothing and reading, I've always somewhat been goth in that sense. However, I say somewhat for a *good* reason. As I am not the most elaborate of dressers. Most of the time, I tend to dress rather basically. Ultimately, it was really the music that made me realize I was goth though.

Good for you and welcome.

I'm not entirely sure i'm qualified to answer this- 'cos I only started being interested in Goth a few months ago- but when i'm older i'll probably say that being surrounded by a lot of death in my most fagile teenage years had some effect on my mindset- and growing up to my much older siblings blasting old punk and Rammstein has influenced my music tastes a lot (they're not very 'gothy' but who am i ever to conform to stereotypes?). Then i discovered Fields of the Nephilim, and black coats and skirts and, yeah- i'm getting there.

There was never one moment for me. If anything, I feel like I've "grown" into being a goth. I think if I had to pinpoint the time that I started towards that, it would begin sometime when I was about 13 and started getting into rock music and started dressing in skater jeans and oversized t-shirts. It was NOT goth, but it was a rebellion and it lead on to more sophisticated styles and music. I still love the Offspring though, because they were one of the bands who influenced me most during that time. Man that was so long ago...

If I look back to when I was 16 and considered myself a goth...many of my outfits and tastes were NOT goth, but I was definately well on the way. I honestly do believe that its not something you grow out of but something you grow into (I probably nicked that from Jillian Venters, but I do believe it). I think at that age, I knew that I wanted to be a goth, but you don't just become a goth overnight, and I wanted to learn more about it, not just dress up that way to look cool. So its been more of a progressive thing for me, rather than a moment of truth hehe.

Thanks.

Rammstein is not olde. They only came out in 1994!